. And if 'twas like an earthquake when Morva refused me,
'twas worse--oh, much worse--when I saw what I did. My old father had
always been so dear to me--so much I loved him, so highly I thought of
him, although, I knew he was over fond of a drop sometimes; but caton
pawb! I would have staked my life on his honour, and more upon his
honesty. I lay awake of course that night--yes, and many a night
after, going over my troubles--worse than that, my shame; and through
all my tossing and turning, one thought was clear before me, 'twould be
better for me to bear the blame than for old Ebben Owens Garthowen to
be known as a thief. I thought I would be far away in foreign lands or
on distant seas, and so I would not hear the whispering, nor see the
pointing of the fingers. What did it matter what people said about me?
Morva would not have me, so what was the use of a good name to me?"
"I got up before the sun rose, and I pushed a few things into my canvas
bag, and went quiet down the stairs. I stopped a minute outside Ann
and Morva's room. I could hear them breathing soft and regular, and so
I hoped they had slept all night. Then I went into the dairy and cut
enough bread and cheese to last for the day, and before anyone was up
at Garthowen, I was far on my way towards Caer-Madoc.
"I sailed from there to Cardiff, and there on the docks I saw many of
my old friends--Tom Powell and Jim Bowen, and many others; but diwss
anwl! I was ashamed to look them in the face, so I avoided them all,
and went amongst the English and the foreign sailors; and in every port
I was avoiding the Welsh sailors, and when I came to Cardiff I never
went to Kitty Jones's any more.
"Well, then, I took ship for South America, and I didn't come home for
two years. All that time I led a wild and reckless life, Sara fach.
Wasn't a fight but I was in it--wasn't a row but Gethin Owens was
there, drinking and swearing and rioting. I didn't care a cockle-shell
what became of me; and if ever a man was on the brink of destruction,
it was Gethin Owens of Garthowen during those two years. I tried
everything to drown my sorrows.
"'Twas just then in Monte Video I caught a fever--the yellow fever they
call it--and I was in the hospital there for many weeks. They told me
afterwards that I had a very bad turn of it. The doctors said they'd
never seen a man so ill and yet recover. I took their word for it.
But I knew nothing about it myself, for I w
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