without closing my eyes at all.

The last of September, I had to give up work almost entirely. I got so
that I _could not walk one-fourth of a mile without being completely
exhausted_. One physician whom I consulted said I was suffering with
nervous prostration and gave me medicine for it, but I got no better. My
food distressed me terribly and after eating, it would sour and I would
have to vomit up the most that I had eaten. At last, I got so I had to
live on bread made of wheat middlings and for about three months I could
not eat anything else, although it seemed as though I should starve to
death. I thought I would give anything if I could eat a hearty meal of
anything that I wanted, but did not dare to because every kind of food
distressed me so. My bowels became badly constipated and for three
months I did not have a natural operation of the bowels; and I suffered
very much with catarrh, and there was such a pressure across my forehead
that it seemed sometimes as though it would burst. I became very
despondent. I did not want to go anywhere, neither did I want to see any
one, everything looked dark and gloomy to me. When well, I was naturally
or a lively disposition and a great hand to joke with my friends, but no
one could say anything funny enough to get a smile out of me then. I was
always very fond of music too, but I could not bear to hear a bit of
music, neither vocal nor instrumental. About the first of February,
1893, some of my friends prevailed upon me to consult a physician who
made a specialty of treating chronic nervous troubles; he said I had no
organic trouble of the heart and that it was caused by my stomach being
out of order; he said that I had a bad kidney trouble and that my spine
was affected, and that unless I got help it would end in "Locomotor
Ataxia." He said he could help me but it would probably take a year to
cure me. He let me have a month's treatment and gave me advice in regard
to diet, etc. I thought for awhile that it was helping me but soon I
began to go down hill again, and as a last resort I began to take some
of the cure-alls (patent) with which the country is flooded; but I soon
became disgusted with them and made up my mind there was no help for me.
I had to use about all the strength I had to walk; I could not lift my
left foot up to step over anything--had to draw it after me; I could
hardly sleep; neither could I transact any business, in fact I did not
take any interest i