the presence of fifty persons, she
revenged herself for what is called _my triumph_, but what I consider
the most _sacred happiness_. Ah! how deeply she wounded me! I almost
hate her.... This feeling alone was wanting to complete the torment of
my soul. The prince palatine took pity on me, and came to my aid; may
God reward him! In every difficult crisis he is always near with his
active and powerful friendship. He would be quite perfect, if he only
understood me a little better; but when I weep and show my sorrow, he
laughs and calls me a child.... I cannot tell him everything.

Thursday, _October 1st._

He has come, and I have seen him; he is quite well, and yet I am not
happy. I saw him amid a crowd of indifferent people; and when my
feelings impelled me to run and meet him in the palace court, I was
forced to remain by my work table and wait until he came into the
saloon, when he of course first saluted the princess, and my only
consolation consisted in being able to make him a formal and icy
reverence. But he is come, and all must now go well.

_October 12th._

Great God! how sweet are the words to which I have just given utterance!
Happy, a thousand times happy, is the woman who can promise with all her
heart to give her hand during her whole life to him whom she loves! The
fourth of November is the prince's birthday. He desires, he demands,
that this may be the day of our holy union! He made me swear by my God,
and by my parents, that I would no longer oppose his wishes; he said he
would doubt my affection if I still hesitated. His tears and prayers
overcame me; encouraged by the advice of the prince palatine, I promised
all he desired, and already do I repent my weakness. But he--he was
happy when he left me....

He wished our marriage to be kept secret from my parents, as it must be
during some time from the rest of the world; he desired that the Princes
Lubomirski should be our only witnesses and our only confidants; but I
opposed this project with all my strength; I even threatened him with
becoming a nun rather than play so guilty a part toward my parents. He
finally yielded: he is so kind to me. It was then decided that I should
write to my parents, and that he would add a postscript to my letter.

At first I felt grateful to him for his submission; but with a little
more reflection I felt offended. Is it not he who should write to my
parents? Is it not thus that such affairs are conducted? Alas, ye