t. My parents promise not to reveal our
marriage without the prince royal's consent; one may see in their letter
both joy and surprise; but there is a tone of sadness in my mother's
expressions which touches me deeply. She says:

'If you are unhappy, I will not be responsible for it; if you are happy
(and I shall never cease to beg this blessing of God in my prayers), I
will rejoice, but at the same time regret that I had no part in
contributing to your felicity'....

These words are almost illegible, for I have nearly effaced them with my
tears.

The curate from Maleszow will arrive next week, and we will be married
immediately after. The prince palatine has had the necessary papers
prepared, and no one has any suspicion. I can scarcely believe that my
marriage is so near.... No preparations will be made for me; all must be
conducted with the greatest secrecy. When Barbara married, she had no
reason to hide herself; all Maleszow was in commotion on her account.

If I could only see the prince royal, I should feel consoled. But
sometimes two whole days pass by without any possibility of meeting him.
He is afraid of exciting the king's suspicions, and still more, those of
Bruhl; he avoids me at all public assemblies, and comes less frequently
to the prince palatine's. To all these painful necessities of my
position must I submit.

Yesterday evening, at Madame Moszynska's _soiree_, I accidentally
overheard a conversation which pained me deeply. A gentleman whom I did
not know, said to his neighbor: 'But the Starostine Krasinska is
terribly changed!' The answer was: 'That is not at all astonishing, for
the poor young girl is madly in love with the prince royal, and he is
somewhat capricious; when he sees a pretty woman, he falls in love with
her immediately, and now he is all devotion to Madame Potocka, and has
eyes for no one but her.'

I am sure the prince pretends to be occupied with other women that he
may the more readily conceal his real feelings, and yet I shuddered when
I heard this conversation. It is really frightful to be the subject of
such improper pleasantries!

If I only had a friend in whom I could confide, and whose advice I could
ask! My maid is as stupid as an owl, and suspects nothing, but
notwithstanding, she is to be sent to the interior of Lithuania, and in
a few days her place will be supplied by a middle-aged married lady of
good birth and acknowledged discretion. I have not seen her yet, a