President! Ho! ho! ho!"

"I want merely to convince him that it is a parabola!"

"I only want to make it clear as day that it is hyperbola!"

"Does it make any real difference whether it is one or the other?"
yelled Ardan.

"The greatest possible difference--in the Eye of Science."

"A radical and incontrovertible difference--in the Eye of Science!"

"Oh! Hang the Eye of Science--will either curve take us to the Moon?"

"No!"

"Will either take us back to the Earth?"

"No!"

"Will either take us anywhere that you know of?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because they are both _open_ curves, and therefore can never end!"

"Is it of the slightest possible importance which of the two curves
controls the Projectile?"

"Not the slightest--except in the Eye of Science!"

"Then let the Eye of Science and her parabolas and hyperbolas, and
conjugates, and asymptotes, and the rest of the confounded nonsensical
farrago, all go to pot! What's the use of bothering your heads about
them here! Have you not enough to trouble you otherwise? A nice pair of
scientists you are? 'Stanislow' scientists, probably. Do _real_
scientists lose their tempers for a trifle? Am I ever to see my ideal of
a true scientific man in the flesh? Barbican came very near realizing my
idea perfectly; but I see that Science just has as little effect as
Culture in driving the Old Adam out of us! The idea of the only
simpleton in the lot having to lecture the others on propriety of
deportment! I thought they were going to tear each other's eyes out! Ha!
Ha! Ha! It's _impayable_! Give me that cord, Michael! Hand me the heavy
ruler, Ardan! It's the only way to bring him to reason! Ho! Ho! Ho! It's
too good! I shall never get over it!" and he laughed till his sides
ached and his cheeks streamed.

His laughter was so contagious, and his merriment so genuine, that there
was really no resisting it, and the next few minutes witnessed nothing
but laughing, and handshaking and rib-punching in the Projectile--though
Heaven knows there was very little for the poor fellows to be merry
about. As they could neither reach the Moon nor return to the Earth,
what _was_ to befall them? The immediate outlook was the very reverse of
exhilarating. If they did not die of hunger, if they did not die of
thirst, the reason would simply be that, in a few days, as soon as their
gas was exhausted, they would die for want of air, unless indeed the icy
cold had killed them beforeha