Dolly Haight really loves me more than
you do." She gathered up her books and went on after a pause,
straightening up, ready to go: "If I should let myself think of what you
have done, I feel--as if--as if--why, dreadful--I--that I should hate
you, loathe you; but I try not to do that. I have been thinking it all
over since the other night. I shall always try to think of you at your
best; I have tried to forget everything else, and in forgetting it I
forgive you. I can honestly say that," she said, holding out her hand,
"I forgive you, and you must forgive me because once, by deceiving
myself, I deceived you, and made you think that I cared for you in that
way when I didn't." As their hands fell apart Turner faced him and
added, with tears in her eyes: "You know this must be good-bye for good.
You don't know how it hurts me to tell you. I know it looks as if I were
deserting you when you were alone in the world and had most need of some
one to influence you for the good. But, Van, won't you be better now?
Won't you break from it all and be your own self again? I have faith in
you. I believe it's in you to become a great man and a good man. It
isn't too late to begin all over again. Just be your better self; live
up to the best that's in you; if not for your own sake, then for the
sake of that other girl that's coming into your life some time; that
other girl who is good and sweet and pure, whom you will really, really
love and who will really, really love you."

* * * * *

All the rest of that month Vandover was wretched. So great was his shame
and humiliation over this fresh disaster that he hardly dared to show
himself out of doors. His grief was genuine and it was profound. Yet he
took his punishment in the right spirit. He did not blame any one but
himself; it was only a just retribution for the thing he had done. Only
what made it hard to bear was the fact that the chastisement had fallen
upon him long after he had repented of the crime, long after he had
resolved to lead a new and upright life; but with shut teeth he
determined still to carry out that resolve; he would devote all his
future life to living down the past. It might be hard; it might be one
long struggle through many, many years, but he would do it. Ah, yes, he
would show them; they had cast him off, but he would go away to Paris
now as he had always intended. As invariably happened when he was deeply
moved, he turned