h garments wear,
When pelted all with dirt they shine;
Such their exalted bodies are,
As shrivell'd and as black as thine.
If thou wert in a cart, I fear
Thou wouldst be pelted worse than they're.

Yet, when we see thee thus array'd,
The neighbours think it is but just,
That thou shouldst take an honest trade,
And weekly carry out the dust.
Of cleanly houses who will doubt,
When Dick cries "Dust to carry out!"

[Footnote 1: This is a parody on the tenth poem of Cowley's "Mistress,"
entitled, "Clad all in White."--_Scott_.]

DICK'S VARIETY

Dull uniformity in fools
I hate, who gape and sneer by rules;
You, Mullinix, and slobbering C----
Who every day and hour the same are
That vulgar talent I despise
Of pissing in the rabble's eyes.
And when I listen to the noise
Of idiots roaring to the boys;
To better judgment still submitting,
I own I see but little wit in:
Such pastimes, when our taste is nice,
Can please at most but once or twice.
But then consider Dick, you'll find
His genius of superior kind;
He never muddles in the dirt,
Nor scours the streets without a shirt;
Though Dick, I dare presume to say,
Could do such feats as well as they.
Dick I could venture everywhere,
Let the boys pelt him if they dare,
He'd have them tried at the assizes
For priests and jesuits in disguises;
Swear they were with the Swedes at Bender,
And listing troops for the Pretender.
But Dick can f--t, and dance, and frisk,
No other monkey half so brisk;
Now has the speaker by his ears,
Next moment in the House of Peers;
Now scolding at my Lady Eustace,
Or thrashing Baby in her new stays.[1]
Presto! begone; with t'other hop
He's powdering in a barber's shop;
Now at the antichamber thrusting
His nose, to get the circle just in;
And damns his blood that in the rear
He sees a single Tory there:
Then woe be to my lord-lieutenant,
Again he'll tell him, and again on't[2]

[Footnote 1: "Dick Tighe and his wife lodged over against us; and he has
been seen, out of our upper windows, beating her two or three times; ...
I am told she is the most urging, provoking devil that ever was born; and
he a hot whiffling puppy, very apt to resent."--Journal to Stella, "Prose
Works," ii, 229.--_W. E. B._]

[Footnote 2: Farquhar, who inscribed his play of the "Inconstant" to
Richard Tighe, has painted him in very different colours from those of
the Dean's satirical pencil. Yet there may be discerned, eve