highly
intelligent-like myself, for example.

I drew up the following proclamation to read to the U.S. official in my
district:

_Q._ What is your name? _A_ SARSFIELD YOUNG. What is yours?

_Q._ What is your age? _A._ A., being asked how old he was, replied: If
I live as long again, and half as long again, and two years and a
half,--how old shall I be?

_Q._ Where is your residence? _A._ I live at home with the family, have
often thought that, amid pleasures and palaces, there is no place like
home, unless it be a boarding house with hot and cold water.

_Q._ What is your occupation? _A._ Taxpayer. This takes my whole time

_Q._ Where were you born? _A._ Having made no minute of it at the time,
it has passed out of my memory.

_Q._ What kind of a house do you live in? _A._ A mortgaged house,
painted flesh color, a front exposure, brick windows and a brass
lightning rod. A good deal of back yard, (and back rent,) to it.

_Q._ At what age did your grandfather die? _A._ If he died last night,
(I saw him yesterday at a horse race,) he was turning ninety-eight,
perhaps he got tipped over in the turn.

_Q._ Do you hold any official position: if so, what? _A._ Inspector of
fish,--every Friday.

_Q._ Are you insured? A. I am agent for half a dozen companies. So are
all my neighbors. My life is insured against fire for several thousands.

_Q._ Are you troubled with chilblains? _A._ Quitely. I soak my feet in
oil of vitriol.

_Q._ Were you in the war? _A._ I have the scar on my arm which I got in
the service. I was vaccinated severely, while clerk to a substitute
broker at Troy, N. Y.

_Q._ Are you a graduate of any College. _A._ Yes, of one. I forget which
one. I only remember that I was one of the most remarkable men they ever
turned out.

_Q._ Have you suffered from the potato rot? _A,_ Not myself. My uncle
had it bad. He found that whiskey and warm water was a very good thing.
I've made an independent discovery of the same fact, also.

_Q._ Are you in favor of Free Trade or Protection? _A_. I can only say
that, if elected, gentlemen, I shall endeavor to do my whole duty. I am.

_Q._ What do you think of deep plowing? _A._ In a scanty population, I
should say it has a bad effect. I can recommend it, however, in a sandy
soil, where school privileges are first-class.

_Q._ Does anything else occur to you which it is important for the
Government to know? _A._ Yes: a hay fever occurs to me regularly once a
ye