and
then my Lord Sandwich came upon me, to speak with whom my business of
coming again to-night to this ende of the town chiefly was, in order to
the seeing in what manner he received me, in order to my inviting him to
dinner to my house, but as well in the morning as now, though I did
wait upon him home and there offered occasion of talk with him, yet he
treated me, though with respect, yet as a stranger, without any of the
intimacy or friendship which he used to do, and which I fear he will
never, through his consciousness of his faults, ever do again. Which I
must confess do trouble me above anything in the world almost, though I
neither do need at present nor fear to need to be so troubled, nay, and
more, though I do not think that he would deny me any friendship now if
I did need it, but only that he has not the face to be free with me, but
do look upon me as a remembrancer of his former vanity, and an espy upon
his present practices, for I perceive that Pickering to-day is great
with him again, and that he has done a great courtesy for Mr. Pierce,
the chirurgeon, to a good value, though both these and none but these
did I mention by name to my Lord in the business which has caused
all this difference between my Lord and me. However, I am resolved to
forbear my laying out my money upon a dinner till I see him in a better
posture, and by grave and humble, though high deportment, to make him
think I do not want him, and that will make him the readier to admit me
to his friendship again, I believe the soonest of anything but downright
impudence, and thrusting myself, as others do, upon him, which yet I
cannot do, not [nor] will not endeavour. So home, calling with my wife
to see my brother again, who was up, and walks up and down the house
pretty well, but I do think he is in a consumption. Home, troubled in
mind for these passages with my Lord, but am resolved to better my case
in my business to make my stand upon my owne legs the better and to
lay up as well as to get money, and among other ways I will have a good
fleece out of Creed's coat ere it be long, or I will have a fall. So
to my office and did some business, and then home to supper and to bed,
after I had by candlelight shaved myself and cut off all my beard clear,
which will make my worke a great deal the less in shaving.

21st. Up, and after sending my wife to my aunt Wight's to get a place to
see Turner hanged, I to the office, where we sat all the morni