e many years. I wish to investigate his confused
affairs so far as to ascertain whether it may not be possible, after
this lapse of time, to ameliorate his unhappy condition. The name of
Mr Tite Barnacle has been mentioned to me as representing some highly
influential interest among his creditors. Am I correctly informed?'

It being one of the principles of the Circumlocution Office never, on
any account whatever, to give a straightforward answer, Mr Barnacle
said, 'Possibly.'

'On behalf of the Crown, may I ask, or as private individual?'

'The Circumlocution Department, sir,' Mr Barnacle replied, 'may have
possibly recommended--possibly--I cannot say--that some public claim
against the insolvent estate of a firm or copartnership to which this
person may have belonged, should be enforced. The question may have
been, in the course of official business, referred to the Circumlocution
Department for its consideration. The Department may have either
originated, or confirmed, a Minute making that recommendation.'

'I assume this to be the case, then.'

'The Circumlocution Department,' said Mr Barnacle, 'is not responsible
for any gentleman's assumptions.'

'May I inquire how I can obtain official information as to the real
state of the case?'

'It is competent,' said Mr Barnacle, 'to any member of the--Public,'
mentioning that obscure body with reluctance, as his natural enemy,
'to memorialise the Circumlocution Department. Such formalities as are
required to be observed in so doing, may be known on application to the
proper branch of that Department.'

'Which is the proper branch?'

'I must refer you,' returned Mr Barnacle, ringing the bell, 'to the
Department itself for a formal answer to that inquiry.'

'Excuse my mentioning--'

'The Department is accessible to the--Public,' Mr Barnacle was always
checked a little by that word of impertinent signification, 'if
the--Public approaches it according to the official forms; if
the--Public does not approach it according to the official forms,
the--Public has itself to blame.'

Mr Barnacle made him a severe bow, as a wounded man of family, a wounded
man of place, and a wounded man of a gentlemanly residence, all rolled
into one; and he made Mr Barnacle a bow, and was shut out into Mews
Street by the flabby footman.

Having got to this pass, he resolved as an exercise in perseverance,
to betake himself again to the Circumlocution Office, and try what
satisfaction