.'
'Oh, Fidgets!' repeated Mrs Sparkler. 'Don't.'
'My adorable girl,' urged Mr Sparkler, 'try your aromatic vinegar. I
have often seen my mother try it, and it seemingly refreshed her.
And she is, as I believe you are aware, a remarkably fine woman, with no
non--'
'Good Gracious!' exclaimed Fanny, starting up again. 'It's beyond all
patience! This is the most wearisome day that ever did dawn upon the
world, I am certain.'
Mr Sparkler looked meekly after her as she lounged about the room, and
he appeared to be a little frightened. When she had tossed a few trifles
about, and had looked down into the darkening street out of all the
three windows, she returned to her sofa, and threw herself among its
pillows.
'Now Edmund, come here! Come a little nearer, because I want to be able
to touch you with my fan, that I may impress you very much with what I
am going to say. That will do. Quite close enough. Oh, you do look so
big!'
Mr Sparkler apologised for the circumstance, pleaded that he couldn't
help it, and said that 'our fellows,' without more particularly
indicating whose fellows, used to call him by the name of Quinbus
Flestrin, Junior, or the Young Man Mountain.
'You ought to have told me so before,' Fanny complained.
'My dear,' returned Mr Sparkler, rather gratified, 'I didn't know
It would interest you, or I would have made a point of telling you.'
'There! For goodness sake, don't talk,' said Fanny; 'I want to talk,
myself. Edmund, we must not be alone any more. I must take such
precautions as will prevent my being ever again reduced to the state of
dreadful depression in which I am this evening.'
'My dear,' answered Mr Sparkler; 'being as you are well known to be, a
remarkably fine woman with no--'
'Oh, good GRACIOUS!' cried Fanny.
Mr Sparkler was so discomposed by the energy of this exclamation,
accompanied with a flouncing up from the sofa and a flouncing down
again, that a minute or two elapsed before he felt himself equal to
saying in explanation:
'I mean, my dear, that everybody knows you are calculated to shine in
society.'
'Calculated to shine in society,' retorted Fanny with great
irritability; 'yes, indeed! And then what happens? I no sooner recover,
in a visiting point of view, the shock of poor dear papa's death, and my
poor uncle's--though I do not disguise from myself that the last was
a happy release, for, if you are not presentable you had much better
die--'
'You are
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