the Deity, though
flattering to our tyranny and self-love; and wish only to bind you in
the soft chains of affection.

Equality is the soul of friendship: marriage, to give delight, must
join two minds, not devote a slave to the will of an imperious lord;
whatever conveys the idea of subjection necessarily destroys that of
love, of which I am so convinced, that I have always wished the word
obey expunged from the marriage ceremony.

If you will permit me to add my sentiments to those of a lady so
learned in the art of pleasing; I would wish you to study the taste of
your husband, and endeavor to acquire a relish for those pleasures
which appear most to affect him; let him find amusement at home, but
never be peevish at his going abroad; he will return to you with the
higher gust for your conversation: have separate apartments, since your
fortune makes it not inconvenient; be always elegant, but not too
expensive, in your dress; retain your present exquisite delicacy of
every kind; receive his friends with good-breeding and complacency;
contrive such little parties of pleasure as you know are agreable to
him, and with the most agreable people you can select: be lively even
to playfulness in your general turn of conversation with him; but, at
the same time, spare no pains so to improve your understanding, which
is an excellent one, as to be no less capable of being the companion of
his graver hours: be ignorant of nothing which it becomes your sex to
know, but avoid all affectation of knowledge: let your oeconomy be
exact, but without appearing otherwise than by the effect.

Do not imitate those of your sex who by ill temper make a husband
pay dear for their fidelity; let virtue in you be drest in smiles; and
be assured that chearfulness is the native garb of innocence.

In one word, my dear, do not lose the mistress in the wife, but let
your behaviour to him as a husband be such as you would have thought
most proper to attract him as a lover: have always the idea of pleasing
before you, and you cannot fail to please.

Having lectured you, my dear Lucy, I must say a word to Temple: a
great variety of rules have been given for the conduct of women in
marriage; scarce any for that of men; as if it was not essential to
domestic happiness, that the man should preserve the heart of her with
whom he is to spend his life; or as if bestowing happiness were not
worth a man's attention, so he possessed it: if, however, it is