cop.

"What are you going to do?" he asked me when presently his face
grew too tired to hold any more wrinkles.

[Illustration: Uncle Peter--the Original Trust Tamer.]

"Give me the count," I sighed; 'I'm down and out."

"Have you no plan at all?" inquired Bunch.

"Plan, nothing," I said; "every time I try to think of a plan my
brain gets bashful and hides. There's nothing in my noddle now but
a headache."

"Well," said Bunch, "I'll throw a wire at my sister and tell her
not to move out to Jiggersville until day after to-morrow. In the
mean time we'll have to get a crowbar and pry your family circle
loose from my premises. Nothing doing in the ghost business, eh?"

"Nothing," I answered, mournfully; "I couldn't coax a shiver."

"A fire wouldn't do, would it?" Bunch suggested, thoughtfully.

"It wouldn't do for you, unless you are aces with the insurance
Indians," I answered.

"We-o-o-u-w!" yelled Bunch, "I have it--burglars!"

"Burglars!" I repeated, mechanically.

"Sure! it's a pipe!" Bunch went on with enthusiasm. "You will play
Spike Hennessy and I'll be Gumshoe Charlie. We'll disguise
ourselves with whiskers and break into the house about 2 o'clock in
the morning. We'll arouse the sleeping inmates, shoot our
bullet-holders in the ceiling once or twice and hand them enough
excitement to make them gallop back to town on the first train. Do
you follow me, eh, what?"

"Not me, Bunch," I shook my head sadly. "Nix on the burgle for
yours truly. I must take the next train back to the woods.
Otherwise wee wifey may suspect something and begin to pass me out
the zero language. But I like the burglar idea. Couldn't you do
it as a monologue?"

"What! all by my lonesome?" cried Bunch. "Say! John, doesn't that
sound like making me work a trifle too hard to get my own goods
back ?"

I sighed and looked as helpless as a nut under the hammer.

Bunch laughed again. "Oh, very well," he said, "I see I'm the only
life-saver on duty so I'll do a single specialty and pull you out
of the pickle bottle."

I grasped my rescuer's hand and shook it warmly in silence.

"Leave a front window open," Bunch directed, "and somewhere around
two o'clock I'll squeeze through."

"I'll have it worked up good and proper," I said, eagerly. "I'll
throw out dark hints all the evening and have the bunch ready to
quiver when the crash comes. As soon as I hear your signal I'll
rush bravely down stairs and you shoot the