I cannot express in words
what I have thought and felt while on the march in the hot sun, or at
night when I looked up to the stars that shone also on my paternal
home. And, oh! how, when on the march and parched with thirst, I longed
for a drop of water from our fountain. I write with burning tears, but
they cannot blot out the past, nor recall a single wasted hour. Lost!
lost! I repent, I suffer deeply. You often told me, mother, 'You must
curb your spirit.' I could not succeed in my peaceful home, although I
had so many to help me you, father, Martella, my brothers and sisters.
From afar, the sound of ardent prayer swells into an eager wail for
redemption. I have wasted all. Am I a sacrifice to my country's misery?
And now comes the most dreadful consequence of my misdeeds. We have
received orders to take ship to fight against Germany. No, not against
Germany. The old misery is here again with redoubled force. An officer
has confided to me, that several of the lesser German states had called
upon France to release them from the tyranny of Prussia.

"I had loaded my gun and pointed it at my head, but, thinking of you, I
fired into the air.

"Is it my guilt, or am I but a drop in the stream that overflows its
bed?

"O my parents! He who leaves his country is suspended in mid-air, and
has no ground to stand upon. It is well that the end is near; but I
wish you to know that my soul is with you at home. At this moment, I
feel your hands on my head, blessing me.

"May Martella remain forever true! I can say nothing to her. Oh,
Richard was in the right. How dared I, who was nothing for myself, bind
another life to mine?

"I thank you a thousand times for all the kindness, all the love you
bestowed upon me who am unworthy of it, and upon Martella who deserves
it.

"I beg forgiveness of my brothers and sisters for the wrongs I have
done them.

"Do not mourn for me; I shall find the way to atonement. Console and
comfort yourselves with the thought of one who will remember you till
death.

"ERNST."

CHAPTER IV.

"Father, I did not hitherto wish to speak of it, but now I must tell
you," said Ludwig, one day.

"For God's sake, what can have happened?"

"Nothing bad, quite the contrary; I am resolved to remain here. I did
not wish to tell you until peace was restored, but I think that this is
the time when the news will do yo