ver saw, and, with practice, would have equalled that of any actress on
the stage. Her very curtsy was comedy itself. When I recovered my breath
a little, I was able to attend to the dialogue which was going on,
which was hardly less ridiculous than the strange disguises round me.
"Now, Miss Hardcastle" (Marlow _loquitur_), "I have no objection to your
smoking cigars during rehearsal, of course--because you won't do that on
Monday night, I suppose; but I must beg you to get out of the practice
of standing or sitting cross-legged, because it's not lady-like, or even
bar-maid like--and don't laugh when I make love to you; for if you do, I
shall break down to a certainty." "Thornhill, do you think my waist will
do?" said the anxious representative of the fair Constance. "I have worn
these cursed stays for an hour every evening for the last week, and
drawn them an inch tighter every time; but I don't think I'm a very good
figure after all--just try if they'll come any closer, will you?" "Oh!
Hawthorne, I'm glad you are come," said Savile, whom I hardly knew, in a
red wig; "now, isn't there to be a bowl of real punch in the scene at
the Three Pigeons--one can't _pretend_ to drink, you know, with any
degree of spirit?"--"Oh! of course," said I; "that's one of the
landlord's properties; Miller, you must provide that, you know: send
down for some cold tankards now; they will do very well for rehearsal."
At last we got to work, and proceeded, with the prompter's assistance,
pretty smoothly, and mutually applauding each other's performance, going
twice over some of the most difficult scenes, and cutting out a good
deal of love and sentiment. The play was fixed for the next Monday
night, playbills ordered to be printed, and cards of invitation issued
to all the performers' intimate friends. Every scout in the college, I
believe, except my rascal Simmons, was in the secret, and probably some
of the fellows had a shrewd guess at what was going on; but no one
interfered with us. We carried on all our operations as quietly as
possible; and the only circumstance likely to arouse suspicion in the
minds of the authorities, was the unusual absence of all disturbances of
a minor nature within the walls, in consequence of the one engrossing
freak in which most of the more turbulent spirits were engaged.

At length the grand night arrived. By nine o'clock the theatre in
Savile's rooms was as full as it could be crammed with any degree of
comf