er."

"Nonsense, Biddy!" said I; "you frightened her, perhaps; the cow is
perfectly gentle;" and with the pail on my arm I sallied forth. The
moment madam saw me entering the cow yard, she greeted me with a very
expressive flourish of her horns.

"This won't do," said I, and I stopped. The lady evidently was serious
in her intentions of resisting any personal approaches. I cut a
cudgel, and, putting on a bold face, marched towards her, while Biddy
followed with her milking stool. Apparently the beast saw the
necessity of temporizing, for she assumed a demure expression, and
Biddy sat down to milk. I stood sentry, and if the lady shook her head
I shook my stick; and thus the milking operation proceeded with
tolerable serenity and success.

"There!" said I, with dignity, when the frothing pail was full to the
brim. "That will do, Biddy," and I dropped my stick. Dump! came
madam's heel on the side of the pail, and it flew like a rocket into
the air, while the milky flood showered plentifully over me, and a new
broadcloth riding-coat that I had assumed for the first time that
morning. "Whew!" said I, as soon as I could get my breath from this
extraordinary shower bath; "what's all this?" My wife came running
towards the cow yard, as I stood with the milk streaming from my hair,
filling my eyes, and dropping from the tip of my nose; and she and
Biddy performed a recitative lamentation over me in alternate
strophes, like the chorus in a Greek tragedy. Such was our first
morning's experience; but as we had announced our bargain with some
considerable flourish of trumpets among our neighbors and friends, we
concluded to hush the matter up as much as possible.

"These very superior cows are apt to be cross," said I; "we must bear
with it as we do with the eccentricities of genius; besides, when she
gets accustomed to us, it will be better."

Madam was therefore installed into her pretty pasture lot, and my wife
contemplated with pleasure the picturesque effect of her appearance,
reclining on the green slope of the pasture lot, or standing ankle
deep in the gurgling brook, or reclining under the deep shadows of the
trees. She was, in fact, a handsome cow, which may account, in part,
for some of her sins; and this consideration inspired me with some
degree of indulgence towards her foibles.

But when I found that Biddy could never succeed in getting near her in
the pasture, and that any kind of success in the milking operat