sachem was
the official head of the _gens_. The actual occupant of the office was
elected by the adult members of the _gens_, male and female, the own
brother or son of a sister being most likely to be preferred.[120] The
wife never left the parental home, because she was considered the
mistress, or, at least, the heiress; her husband lived with her. In
the house all the duties and the honour as the head of the household
fell on her. She was required in case of need to look after her
parents. The Iroquois recognised no right in the father to the custody
of his children; such power was in the hands of the maternal
uncle.[121] Marriages were negotiated by the uncles or the mothers;
sometimes the father was consulted, but this was little more than a
compliment, as his approbation or opposition was usually
disregarded.[122] The suitor was required to make presents to the
bride's family. It was the custom for him to seek private interviews
at night with his betrothed. In some instances, it was enough if he
went and sat by her side in her cabin; if she permitted this, and
remained where she was, it was taken for consent, and the act would
suffice for marriage. If a husband and wife could not agree, they
parted, or two pairs would exchange husbands and wives. An early
French missionary remonstrated with a couple on such a transaction,
and was told: "My wife and I could not agree. My neighbour was in the
same case. So we exchanged wives, and all four are content. What can
be more reasonable than to render one another mutually happy, when it
costs so little and does nobody any harm?"[123] It would seem that
these primitive people have solved some difficulties better than we
ourselves have!

Among the Senecas,[124] an Iroquoian tribe with a less organised
social life, the authority remained in the hands of the women. These
people led a communal life, dwelling in long houses, which
accommodated as many as twenty families, each in its own
apartments.[125]

"As to their family system, it is probable that some one clan
predominated (in the houses), the women taking in husbands,
however, from the other clans, and sometimes for novelty, some
of their sons bringing in their young wives until they felt
brave enough to leave their mothers. Usually the female portion
ruled the house, and were doubtless clannish enough about it.
The stores were in common, but woe to the luckless husband or
lover who was t