ak carelessly, but she was not so
careless as she wanted to appear. I only said in reply, that from my
heart I wished her well, and earnestly hoped that she might soon learn
to think more justly, and not owe the most valuable knowledge we could
any of us acquire, the knowledge of ourselves and of our duty, to the
lessons of affliction, and immediately left the room. I had gone a few
steps, Fanny, when I heard the door open behind me. 'Mr. Bertram,' said
she. I looked back. 'Mr. Bertram,' said she, with a smile; but it was
a smile ill-suited to the conversation that had passed, a saucy playful
smile, seeming to invite in order to subdue me; at least it appeared so
to me. I resisted; it was the impulse of the moment to resist, and still
walked on. I have since, sometimes, for a moment, regretted that I did
not go back, but I know I was right, and such has been the end of our
acquaintance. And what an acquaintance has it been! How have I been
deceived! Equally in brother and sister deceived! I thank you for your
patience, Fanny. This has been the greatest relief, and now we will have
done."

And such was Fanny's dependence on his words, that for five minutes
she thought they _had_ done. Then, however, it all came on again, or
something very like it, and nothing less than Lady Bertram's rousing
thoroughly up could really close such a conversation. Till that
happened, they continued to talk of Miss Crawford alone, and how she had
attached him, and how delightful nature had made her, and how excellent
she would have been, had she fallen into good hands earlier. Fanny, now
at liberty to speak openly, felt more than justified in adding to
his knowledge of her real character, by some hint of what share his
brother's state of health might be supposed to have in her wish for a
complete reconciliation. This was not an agreeable intimation. Nature
resisted it for a while. It would have been a vast deal pleasanter to
have had her more disinterested in her attachment; but his vanity was
not of a strength to fight long against reason. He submitted to believe
that Tom's illness had influenced her, only reserving for himself this
consoling thought, that considering the many counteractions of opposing
habits, she had certainly been _more_ attached to him than could have
been expected, and for his sake been more near doing right. Fanny
thought exactly the same; and they were also quite agreed in their
opinion of the lasting effect, the ind