ly so many doormats to him.
Every time he made a play he stopped at the latter end of it for
instructions.

When he stopped the last time, with nothing before him but the goal, and
asked placidly, "Vere skoll I take das ball now, Master Bost?" I thought
the coach would expire of the heat. He positively steamed with
suppressed emotion. He swelled and got purple about the face. We were
alarmed and were getting ready to hoop him like a barrel when he found
his tongue at last.

"You pale-eyed, prehistoric mudhead," he spluttered, "I've spent a week
trying to get through that skull lining of yours. It's no use, you field
boulder. Where do you keep your brains? Give me a chance at them. I just
want to get into them one minute and stir them up with my finger. To
think that I have to use you to play football when they are paying five
dollars and a half for ox meat in Kansas City. Skjarsen, do you know
anything at all?"

"Aye ban getting gude eddication," said Ole serenely. "Aye tank I ban
college faller purty sune, I don't know. I like I skoll understand all
das har big vorts yu make."

"You'll understand them, I don't think," moaned Bost. "You couldn't
understand a swift kick in the ribs. You are a fool. Understand that,
muttonhead?"

Ole understood. "Vy for yu call me fule?" he said indignantly. "Aye du
yust vat you say."

"Ar-r-r-r!" bubbled Bost, walking around himself three or four times.
"You do just what I say! Of course you do. Did I tell you to stop in the
middle of the field? What would Muggledorfer do to you if you stopped
there?"

"Yu ent tal me to go on," said Ole sullenly. "Aye go on, Aye gass, pooty
qveek den."

"You bet you'll go on," said Bost. "Now, look here, you sausage
material, to-morrow you play fullback. You stop everything that comes at
you from the other side. Hear? You catch the ball when it comes to you.
Hear? And when they give you the ball you take it, and don't you dare to
stop with it. Get that? Can I get that into your head without a drill
and a blast? If you dare to stop with that ball I'll ship you back to
the lumber camp in a cattle car. Stop in the middle of the field--Ow!"

But at this point we took Bost away.

The next afternoon we dressed Ole up in his armor--he invariably got it
on wrong side out if we didn't help him--and took him out to the field.
We confidently expected to promenade all over Muggledorfer--their coach
was an innocent child beside Bost--and that was the re