th glory, Tartarin, cover yourself with
Tartarin. flannel.

[_Still more excitedly_] [_Still more calmly_]

Oh for the terrible double-barreled Oh for the thick knitted
rifle! Oh for bowie-knives, waist-coats!
lassos, and moccasins! and warm knee-caps!
Oh for the welcome padded
caps with ear-flaps!

[_Above all self-control_] [_Ringing up the maid_]

A battle-axe! fetch me a battle-axe! Now then, Jeannette, do bring
up that chocolate!

Whereupon Jeannette would appear with an unusually good cup of
chocolate, just right in warmth, sweetly smelling, and with the play of
light on watered silk upon its unctuous surface, and with succulent
grilled steak flavored with anise-seed, which would set Sancho-Tartarin
off on the broad grin, and into a laugh that drowned the shouts of
Quixote-Tartarin.

Thus it came about that Tartarin of Tarascon never had left Tarascon.

OF "MENTAL MIRAGE," AS DISTINGUISHED FROM LYING

From 'Tartarin of Tarascor'

Under one conjunction of circumstances, Tartarin did however once almost
start out upon a great voyage.

The three brothers Garcio-Camus, natives of Tarascon, established in
business at Shanghai, offered him the managership of one of their
branches there. This undoubtedly presented the kind of life he hankered
after. Plenty of active business, a whole army of understrappers to
order about, and connections with Russia, Persia, Turkey in Asia--in
short, to be a merchant prince.

In Tartarin's mouth, the title of Merchant Prince thundered out as
something stunning!

The house of Garcio-Camus had the further advantage of sometimes being
favored with a call from the Tartars. Then the doors would be slammed
shut, all the clerks flew to arms, up ran the consular flag, and zizz!
phit! bang! out of the windows upon the Tartars.

I need not tell you with what enthusiasm Quixote-Tartarin clutched this
proposition; sad to say, Sancho-Tartarin did not see it in the same
light, and as he was the stronger party, it never came to anything. But
in the town there was much talk about it. Would he go or would he not?
"I'll lay he will"--and "I'll wager he won't!" It was the event of the
week. In the upshot, Tartarin did not depart, but the matte