wing-room by a careless reference to my "block of
Jaguars"! Even those who misunderstood me and thought I spoke of my
"flock of jaguars" were startled. Indeed life was very good just then.

But lately things have not been going well. At the beginning of April
Jaguars settled down at 1-1/16. Though I stood for hours at the club
tape, my hair standing up on end and my eyeballs starting from their
sockets, Jaguars still came through steadily at 1-1/16. To give them a
chance of doing something, I left them alone for a whole week--with what
agony you can imagine. Then I looked again; a whole week and anything
might have happened. Pauper or millionaire?--No, still 1-1/16.

Worse was to follow. Editors actually took to leaving out Jaguars
altogether. I suppose they were sick of putting 1-1/16 in every edition.
But how ridiculous it made my idea seem of watching them go up and down!
How blank life became again!

And now what I dreaded most of all has happened. I have received a
"Progress Report" from the mine. It gives the "total footage" for the
month, special reference being made to "cross-cutting, winzing, and
sinking." The amount of "tons crushed" is announced. There is serious
talk of "ore" being "extracted"; indeed there has already been a most
alarming "yield in fine gold." In short, it can no longer be hushed up
that the property may at any moment be "placed on a dividend-paying
basis."

Probably I shall be getting a safe five per cent!

"Dash it all," as I said to my solicitor this morning, "I might just as
well have bought a rotten mortgage."

THE FINANCIER. II

(_Eighteen months later_)

It is nearly two years ago that I began speculating in West African
mines. You may remember what a stir my entry into the financial world
created; how Sir Isaac Isaacstein went mad and shot himself; how Sir
Samuel Samuelstein went mad and shot his typist; and how Sir Moses
Mosestein went mad and shot his typewriter, permanently damaging the
letter "s." There was panic in the City on that February day in 1912
when I bought Jaguars and set the market rocking.

I bought Jaguars partly for the rise and partly for the thrill. In
describing my speculation to you eighteen months ago I dwelt chiefly on
the thrill part; I alleged that I wanted to see them go up and down. It
would have been more accurate to have said that I wanted to see them go
up. It was because I was sure they were going up that, with the united
support of my s