ts of Africa, or those whose ears have been regaled with the
chattering of a "wilderness of monkeys." Our lusty _factotum_ was
astonished. The Cockney aspirated his _h's_ with uncommon volubility.
We hastened from one to the other to inquire the cause; nor was it
until near half an hour had been wasted in palaver, that I found they
considered themselves slighted, first of all because we had not fired
a salvo in their honor, and secondly because we failed to spread mats
from the beach to the house, upon which the bride might place her
virgin feet without defilement! These were indispensable formalities
among the "upper ten;" and the result was that COOMBA could not land
unless the etiquette were fulfilled.

Here, then, was a sad dilemma. The guns could be fired instantly;--but
where, alas! at a moment's notice, were we to obtain mats enough to
carpet the five hundred yards of transit from the river to the house?
The match must be broken off!

My crest-fallen cockney immediately began to exculpate himself by
pleading ignorance of the country's customs,--assuring the strangers
that he had not the slightest inkling of the requirement. Still, the
stubborn "master of ceremonies" would not relax an iota of his
rigorous behests.

At length, our bulky dame approached the master of the bridal party,
and, squatting on her knees, confessed her neglectful fault. Then, for
the first time, I saw a gleam of hope. Joseph improved the moment by
alleging that he employed this lady patroness to conduct every thing
in the sublimest style imaginable, because it was presumed no one knew
better than she all that was requisite for so admirable and virtuous a
lady as COOMBA. Inasmuch, however, as he had been disappointed by her
unhappy error, he did not think the blow should fall on _his_
shoulders. The negligent matron ought to pay the penalty; and, as it
was impossible now to procure the mats, she should forfeit the value
of a slave to aid the merry-making, _and carry the bride on her back
from the river to her home_!

A clapping of hands and a quick murmur of assent ran through the
crowd, telling me that the compromise was accepted. But the porterage
was no sinecure for the delinquent elephant, who found it difficult at
times to get along over African sands even without a burden. Still, no
time was lost in further parley or remonstrance. The muskets and
cannon were brought down and exploded; the royal boat was brought to
the landing; fat