will creep over me. It is such a fast after the feast of great
presences to which I have been so long accustomed."

The war was much on her mind. Eagerly she read Greeley's _Tribune_ and
the Rochester _Democrat_. The news was discouraging--the tragedy of
Bull Run, the call for more troops, defeat after defeat for the Union
armies. General Fremont in Missouri freeing the slaves of rebels only
to have Lincoln cancel the order to avert antagonizing the border
states.

"How not to do it seems the whole study of Washington," she wrote in
her diary. "I wish the government would move quickly, proclaim freedom
to every slave and call on every able-bodied Negro to enlist in the
Union Army.... To forever blot out slavery is the only possible
compensation for this merciless war."[138]

To satisfy her longing for a better understanding of people and
events, she turned to books, first to Elizabeth Barrett Browning's
_Casa Guidi Windows_, which she called "a grand poem, so fitting to
our terrible struggle," then to her _Sonnets from the Portuguese_, and
George Eliot's popular _Adam Bede_, recently published. More serious
reading also absorbed her, for she wanted to keep abreast of the most
advanced thought of the day. "Am reading Buckle's _History of
Civilization_ and Darwin's _Descent of Man_," she wrote in her diary.
"Have finished _Origin of the Species_. Pillsbury has just given me
Emerson's poems."[139]

Eager to thrash out all her new ideas with Elizabeth Stanton, she went
to Seneca Falls for a few days of good talk, hoping to get Mrs.
Stanton's help in organizing a woman's rights convention in 1862; but
not even Mrs. Stanton could see the importance of such work at this
time, believing that if women put all their efforts into winning the
war, they would, without question, be rewarded with full citizenship.
Susan was skeptical about this and disappointed that even the best
women were so willing to be swept aside by the onrush of events.

Although opposed to war, Susan was far from advocating peace at any
price, and was greatly concerned over the confusion in Washington
which was vividly described in the discouraging letters Mrs. Stanton
received from her husband, now Washington correspondent for the New
York _Tribune_. Both she and Mrs. Stanton chafed at inaction. They had
loyalty, intelligence, an understanding of national affairs, and
executive ability to offer their country, but such qualities were not
sought after amo