o you that I distrust the powers of any woman, even of myself
to withstand the mighty matrimonial maelstrom!"[101]

To Elizabeth Stanton she confessed, "I have very weak moments and long
to lay my weary head somewhere and nestle my full soul to that of
another in full sympathy. I sometimes fear that _I too_ shall faint by
the wayside and drop out of the ranks of the faithful few."[102]

* * * * *

Susan thought a great deal about marriage at this time, about how it
interfered with the development of women's talents and their careers,
how it usually dwarfed their individuality. Nor were these thoughts
wholly impersonal, for she had attentive suitors during these years.
Her diary mentions moonlight rides and adds, "Mr.--walked home with
me; marvelously attentive. What a pity such powers of intellect should
lack the moral spine."[103] Her standards of matrimony were high, and
she carefully recorded in her diary Lucretia Mott's wise words, "In
the true marriage relation, the independence of the husband and wife
is equal, their dependence mutual, and their obligations
reciprocal."[104]

Marriage and the differences of the sexes were often discussed at the
many meetings she attended, and when remarks were made which to her
seemed to limit in any way the free and full development of woman, she
always registered her protest. She had no patience with any
unrealistic glossing over of sex attraction and spurned the theory
that woman expressed love and man wisdom, that these two qualities
reached out for each other and blended in marriage. Because she spoke
frankly for those days and did not soften the impact of her words with
sentimental flowery phrases, her remarks were sometimes called
"coarse" and "animal," but she justified them in a letter to Mrs.
Stanton, who thought as she did, "To me it [sex] is not coarse or
gross. If it is a fact, there it is."[105]

She was reading at this time Elizabeth Barrett Browning's _Aurora
Leigh_, called by Ruskin the greatest poem in the English language,
but criticized by others as an indecent romance revolting to the
purity of many women. Susan had bought a copy of the first American
edition and she carried it with her wherever she went. After a hard
active day, she found inspiration and refreshment in its pages. No
matter how dreary the hotel room or how unfriendly the town, she no
longer felt lonely or discouraged, for Aurora Leigh was a companion
ever a