e _in greater danger from me_ at the end of your probation
than from the other fellow." "Oh, Lord, I hadn't thought of that,"
he exclaimed, as he pocketed his hundred dollars, picked up his
hat, and left my office.

Near the close of the following term of court, as the decree was
being signed granting the divorce aforementioned, I approached
my client as he sat solitary in the rear of the court-room, and
earnestly congratulated him upon the fact that he was now free and
at liberty to fight his own battles. "Yes," he replied, with a
groan that touched the heart of the tipstaff near by, "but it's
too late now; _she married that other fellow last Thursday."_

TAKEN BY SURPRISE

Upon a time, far back, Ballou, of happy memory, was Judge of the
Woodford Circuit Court. A young lawyer, after diligent preparation
and exhaustive argument, confidently submitted his first case to
the tender mercies of the Court. To his utter dismay, His Honor
promptly rendered a decision adverse to the contention of the
youthful barrister. Deeply humiliated by his defeat, the latter
exclaimed: "I am _astonished_ at such a decision!" The admonition
of a brother, to patience, failing to accomplish its charitable
purpose, the irate attorney asservated more excitedly than before,
his astonishment at such a decision. Whereupon the judge
ordered the clerk to enter up a fine of five dollars against the
offending attorney for contempt of court. Silence now reigned
supreme, and the victim of judicial wrath sank back into his seat,
utterly dismayed. The strain of the situation was at length
relieved in part by an old lawyer from the opposite side of the
trial table, slowly arising and solemnly remarking: "Something
might be said, Your Honor, in extenuation of the conduct of my
young friend. It is his first case, one in which he felt the
deepest interest, and upon the successful issue of which, he had
founded his fondest hopes. I trust Your Honor, upon due reflection,
will remit this fine. It is true, he has with much vehemence
expressed his astonishment at the decision of the Court. But
his youth and inexperience must surely be taken into account. Ah,
Your Honor, when our young brother has practised before this court
as long as some of us have, _he will not be surprised at any decision
Your Honor may make!"_

THE POINT OF THE JOKE

Sydney Smith is credited with saying that it required a surgical
operation to get a joke into a Scotchma