d amongst the shells," and I was also told that
he had given orders that Antwerp was not to be taken till the last man
in it was dead.

The Marines are getting horribly knocked about. Yesterday Mrs. O'Gormon
went out in her own motor-car and picked wounded out of the trenches.
She said that no one knew why they were in the trenches or where they
were to fire--they just lay there and were shot and then left.

[Page Heading: HOW WE KEPT UP OUR COURAGE]

I think I have seen too much pain lately. At Walworth one saw women
every day in utter pain, and now one lives in an atmosphere of bandages
and blood. I asked some of the orderlies to-day what it was that
supported them most at a crisis of this sort. The answers varied, and
were interesting. I myself am surprised to find that religion is not my
best support. When I go into the little chapel to pray it is all too
tender, the divine Mother and the Child and the holy atmosphere. I begin
to feel rather sorry for myself, I don't know why; then I go and move
beds and feel better; but I have found that just to behave like a
well-bred woman is what keeps me up best. I had thought that the Flag or
Religion would have been stronger incentives to me.

Our own soldiers seem to find self-respect their best asset. It is
amazing to see the difference between them and the Belgians, who are
terribly poor hands at bearing pain, and beg for morphia all the time.
An officer to-day had to have a loose tooth out. He insisted on having
cocaine, and then begged the doctor to be careful!

The firing now is furious--sometimes there are five or six explosions
almost simultaneously. I suppose we shall read in the _Times_ that "all
is quiet," and in _Le Matin_ that "pour le reste tout est calme."

The staff are doing well. They are generally too busy to be frightened,
but one has to speak once or twice to them before they hear.

On Wednesday night, the 7th October, we heard that one more ship was
going to England, and a last chance was given to us all to leave. Only
two did so; the rest stayed on. Mrs. Stobart went out to see what was to
be done. The ---- Consul said that we were under his protection, and
that if the Germans entered the town he would see that we were treated
properly. We had a deliberately cheerful supper, and afterwards a man
called Smits came in and told us that the Germans had been driven back
fifteen kilometres. I myself did not believe this, but we went to bed,
and even to