rnished nothing, but I
have brought the god a goose from my own house."

Julian says the people of Antioch had transfixed him with sarcasms, as
with arrows. In accordance, however, with his peaceful disposition, he
only retaliated by writing the Misopogon or "Beard-hater." "No law," he
says, "forbids me to satirise myself." He begins with his face and says,

"Although naturally good-looking, moroseness and bad manners have led me
to wear a long beard for no apparent reason but that nature has not made
it handsome. Therefore, I allow lice to run about in it like wild beasts
in a wood, nor have I the power of eating or drinking much, for I must
be cautious, lest I eat hairs along with bread. About being kissed, or
kissing, I do not much care; still a beard has this inconvenience among
others, that it does not allow us to join pure lips to those that are
pure, and, therefore, the sweeter. You say that ropes should be twisted
out of it, and I would willingly grant this, if only you were able to
draw out the bristles, so that your soft and delicate hands should not
suffer from their roughness."

He says that he never goes to the theatre, and hates horse-races. As to
domestic matters, "I pass sleepless nights upon a bed of straw, and
insufficient food makes my manners severe and offensive to a luxurious
city. Do not think that I do this on your account--a great and senseless
mistake has led me from my childhood to wage war with my stomach." He is
not at all surprised that they should follow the dissolute habits of the
founder of their city, Antiochus, and that they think of nothing but
dressing, bathing, and love-making--charges which could not be brought
against himself. He esteems dancers and players "no more than the frogs
of the lakes," and tells a story, that when Cato came into the city of
Antioch, seeing all the young men under arms, and the magistrates in
their robes, he thought the parade was in his honour. He blamed his
friends for having told them he was coming, and advanced with some
hesitation, when the master of the ceremonies came up and asked,
"Stranger, how far off is Demetrius?" a man who had been a slave of
Pompey, but had become immensely rich. Cato made no reply, but
exclaimed, "O, miserable city!" and departed.

The Misopogon is unique as a mock disparagement of self. Although
written in condemnation of the Antiochians, a vein of pleasantry runs
through it, which shows that Julian was not vindictive,