all, if they will look for
it.

For does not every one know that when he has offended another, the
amount of regret he feels (of course, leaving worldly considerations out
of the question) varies with the degree of sympathy he has for that
other? Is he not conscious that when the person offended is an enemy,
the having given him annoyance is apt to be a source rather of secret
satisfaction than of sorrow? Does he not remember that where umbrage has
been taken by some total stranger, he has felt much less concern than he
would have done had such umbrage been taken by one with whom he was
intimate? While, conversely, has not the anger of an admired and
cherished friend been regarded by him as a serious misfortune, long and
keenly regretted? Well, the effects of parental displeasure on children
must similarly vary with the pre-existing relationship. Where there is
an established alienation, the feeling of a child who has transgressed
is a purely selfish fear of the impending physical penalties or
deprivations; and after these have been inflicted, the injurious
antagonism and dislike which result, add to the alienation. On the
contrary, where there exists a warm filial affection produced by a
consistent parental friendship, the state of mind caused by parental
displeasure is not only a salutary check to future misconduct of like
kind, but is intrinsically salutary. The moral pain consequent on
having, for the time being, lost so loved a friend, stands in place of
the physical pain usually inflicted; and proves equally, if not more,
efficient. While instead of the fear and vindictiveness excited by the
one course, there are excited by the other a sympathy with parental
sorrow, a genuine regret for having caused it, and a desire, by some
atonement, to reestablish the friendly relationship. Instead of bringing
into play those egotistic feelings whose predominance is the cause of
criminal acts, there are brought into play those altruistic feelings
which check criminal acts. Thus the discipline of natural consequences
is applicable to grave as well as trivial faults; and the practice of it
conduces not simply to the repression, but to the eradication of such
faults.

In brief, the truth is that savageness begets savageness, and gentleness
begets gentleness. Children who are unsympathetically treated become
unsympathetic; whereas treating them with due fellow-feeling is a means
of cultivating their fellow-feeling. With family g