pity, but that it all came of the foolish
fondness of the boy's mother; that nothing was more absurd than for
mothers to be eternally coddling their children. Although who would
have attended to Mr. Alfred if his mother had not, the unemployed
statesman forgot to state, notwithstanding that he had just written
a letter upon public affairs, in which he eloquently remarked that he
had no aspirations for public life; but that, afar from the turmoils
of political strife, his modest ambition was satisfied in the performance
of the sweet duties which the wise Creator, who has set the children of
men in families, has imposed upon all parents.

"However," said he, "Mr. Newt is a wealthy merchant. It's all right, my
dear! Women, and especially mothers, are peculiarly silly at such times.
Endeavor, Mrs. Dinks, to keep the absurdity--which, of course, you will
not be able to suppress altogether--within bounds. Try to control your
nerves, and rely upon Providence."

Therewith the statesman stroked his wife's chin. He controlled his own
nerves perfectly, and went to dress for dinner with a select party at
General Belch's, in honor of the Honorable B. J. Ele, who, in his
capacity as representative in Washington, had ground an axe for his
friend the General. Therefore, when the cloth was removed, the General
rose and said: "I know that we are only a party of friends, but I can
not help indulging my feelings, and gratifying yours, by proposing the
health of our distinguished, able, and high-minded representative, whose
Congressional career proves that there is no office in the gift of a free
and happy people to which he may not legitimately aspire. I have the
honor and pleasure to propose, with three times three, the Honorable B.
Jawley Ele."

The Honorable Budlong Dinks led off in gravely pounding the table with
his fork; and when the rattle of knives, and forks, and spoons, and
glasses had subsided, and when Major Scuppernong, of North Carolina--who
had dined very freely, and was not strictly following the order of
events, but cried out in a loud voice in the midst of the applause,
"Encore, encore! good for Belch!"--had been reduced to silence, then
the honorable gentleman who had been toasted rose, and expressed his
opinion of the state of the country, to the general effect that General
Jackson--Sir, and fellow-citizens--I mean my friends, and you, Mr.
Speaker--I beg pardon, General Belch, that General Jackson, gentlemen and
lad