ULLIGAN, ME LARD," cried my
defender)--"Well, Mulligan, then, be calm, and keep to your brief."

Mr. Mulligan did; and for three hours and a quarter, in a speech crammed
with Latin quotations, and unsurpassed for eloquence, he explained the
situation of me and my family; the romantic manner in which Tuggeridge
the elder gained his fortune, and by which it afterwards came to my
wife; the state of Ireland; the original and virtuous poverty of the
Coxes--from which he glanced passionately, for a few minutes (until the
judge stopped him), to the poverty of his own country; my excellence as
a husband, father, landlord; my wife's, as a wife, mother, landlady. All
was in vain--the trial went against us. I was soon taken in execution
for the damages; five hundred pounds of law expenses of my own, and as
much more of Tuggeridge's. He would not pay a farthing, he said, to get
me out of a much worse place than the Fleet. I need not tell you that
along with the land went the house in town, and the money in the funds.
Tuggeridge, he who had thousands before, had it all. And when I was in
prison, who do you think would come and see me? None of the Barons, nor
Counts, nor Foreign Ambassadors, nor Excellencies, who used to fill
our house, and eat and drink at our expense,--not even the ungrateful
Tagrag!

I could not help now saying to my dear wife, "See, my love, we have been
gentlefolks for exactly a year, and a pretty life we have had of it.
In the first place, my darling, we gave grand dinners, and everybody
laughed at us."

"Yes, and recollect how ill they made you," cries my daughter.

"We asked great company, and they insulted us."

"And spoilt mamma's temper," said Jemimarann.

"Hush! Miss," said her mother; "we don't want YOUR advice."

"Then you must make a country gentleman of me."

"And send Pa into dunghills," roared Tug.

"Then you must go to operas, and pick up foreign Barons and Counts."

"Oh, thank heaven, dearest papa, that we are rid of them," cries my
little Jemimarann, looking almost happy, and kissing her old pappy.

"And you must make a fine gentleman of Tug there, and send him to a fine
school."

"And I give you my word," says Tug, "I'm as ignorant a chap as ever
lived."

"You're an insolent saucebox," says Jemmy; "you've learned that at your
fine school."

"I've learned something else, too, ma'am; ask the boys if I haven't,"
grumbles Tug.

"You hawk your daughter about, and just escape marryi