INK in your tea, Mam,' says that sly
wagg Cinqbars. 'HE knows what I likes,' replies the hawfle hold Lady,
pinting to me, (which I knew it very well, having often seen her take
a glass of hojous gin along with her Bohee), and so I was ableeged to
horder Fitzwarren to bring round the licures, and to help my unfortnit
rellatif to a bumper of Ollands. She tost it hoff to the elth of the
company, giving a smack with her lipps after she'd emtied the glas,
which very nearly caused me to phaint with hagny. But, luckaly for me,
she didn't igspose herself much farther: for when Cinqbars was pressing
her to take another glas, I cried out, 'Don't, my lord,' on which old
Grann hearing him edressed by his title, cried out, 'A Lord! o law!'
and got up and made him a cutsy, and coodnt be peswaded to speak another
word. The presents of the noble gent heavidently made her uneezy.

"The Countiss on my right and had shownt symtms of ixtream disgust at
the beayvior of my relations, and having called for her carridg, got up
to leave the room, with the most dignified hair. I, of coarse, rose to
conduct her to her weakle. Ah, what a contrast it was! There it
stood, with stars and garters hall hover the pannels; the footmin in
peach-colored tites; the hosses worth 3 hundred apiece;--and there
stood the horrid LINNEN-CART, with 'Mary Blodder, Laundress, Ealing,
Middlesex,' wrote on the bord, and waiting till my abandind old parint
should come out.

"Cinqbars insisted upon helping her in. Sir Huddlestone Fuddlestone,
the great Barnet from the North, who, great as he is, is as stewpid as
a howl, looked on, hardly trusting his goggle I's as they witnessed the
sean. But little lively good naterd Lady Kitty Quickset, who was going
away with the Countiss, held her little & out of the carridge to me and
said, 'Mr. De la Pluche, you are a much better man than I took you to
be. Though her Ladyship IS horrified, & though your Grandmother DID take
gin for breakfast, don't give her up. No one ever came to harm yet for
honoring their father & mother.'

"And this was a sort of consolation to me, and I observed that all the
good fellers thought none the wuss of me. Cinqbars said I was a trump
for sticking up for the old washerwoman; Lord George Gills said she
should have his linning; and so they cut their joax, and I let them. But
it was a great releaf to my mind when the cart drove hoff.

"There was one pint which my Grandmother observed, and which, I mus