or me
With dumb pathetic yearning.

"I flit about, I skip, I roam
Through houses past the telling,
Through many a stately ducal home,
And many a Mayfair dwelling.

"I chatter in the servants' hall,
I make a sudden sally,
And with the parlourmaid I brawl
Or bicker with the valet.

"I murmur under moon and stars
With blue and khaki lovers,
I linger in resplendent bars
With golden taxi shuvvers.

"But out again I come and know
That Fate will fail me never,
For wars may come and wars may go,
But cooks go on for ever."

* * * * *

"SUN ECLIPSE IN MAY.

WIRELESS OPERATORS' HELP ASKED."

_Daily Paper_.

We ought all to put our shoulders to the wheel and make this Victory
Eclipse a big thing.

* * * * *

"All the Lumpkins are clever and some of them are
brilliant.... The head of the family, Lord Durham, is an
exceptionally ready and witty man."--_The Globe._

Readers of GOLDSMITH may suggest that _Anthony Lumpkin, Esq_., was
not a brilliant Lumpkin; but it may well be that he was only distantly
connected with that branch of the family from which Lord DURHAM traces
his descent. In this connection a correspondent suggests the following
train of thought: Lambton--Lambkin--Lump(ofcoal)kin.

* * * * *

"We stand at the noon of the greatest day the world has seen,
with all the hideous darkness of the night behind and all the
glory of the dawn before."

_Mr. Arthur MEE in "Lloyd's News_."

It looks as if the dawn would be a day late.

* * * * *

[Illustration: GERMANY DRAWS THE PEN.

"IT'S NOT EXACTLY A SABRE, BUT I DARESAY I CAN CONTRIVE TO KEEP IT
RATTLING FOR A BIT."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Monday, May 5th_.--Sir AUCKLAND GEDDES is the maid-of-all-work of the
Ministry. Deputising for the PRESIDENT OF THE BOARD OF TRADE he had
an opportunity of displaying an encyclopaedic knowledge which fully
justified his position as President-elect of a Canadian University.
Mr. JOYNSON-HICKS probably thought he had floored him with a poser on
"gas-scrubbing," but Sir AUCKLAND knew all about it.

He is discreet as he is erudite. An inquiry about meat-imports
elicited plenty of information about "ewe-mutton" and "wether-mutton,"
but not a word about the