at had not
killed nor even hurt her so very desperately--gratitude because she had
succeeded, performed her part of mother perfectly--the nurse had said
so--she, so distrustful of herself! Instinctively she knew, too, that
this was HER baby, not his, going "to take after her," as they called it.
How it succeeded in giving that impression she could not tell, unless it
were the passivity, and dark eyes of the little creature. Then from one
till three they had slept together with perfect soundness and unanimity.
She awoke to find the nurse standing by the bed, looking as if she wanted
to tell her something.

"Someone to see you, my dear."

And Gyp thought: 'He! I can't think quickly; I ought to think quickly--I
want to, but I can't.' Her face expressed this, for the nurse said at
once:

"I don't think you're quite up to it yet."

Gyp answered:

"Yes. Only, not for five minutes, please."

Her spirit had been very far away, she wanted time to get it back before
she saw him--time to know in some sort what she felt now; what this mite
lying beside her had done for her and him. The thought that it was his,
too--this tiny, helpless being--seemed unreal. No, it was not his! He
had not wanted it, and now that she had been through the torture it was
hers, not his--never his. The memory of the night when she first yielded
to the certainty that the child was coming, and he had come home drunk,
swooped on her, and made her shrink and shudder and put her arm round her
baby. It had not made any difference. Only--Back came the old accusing
thought, from which these last days she had been free: 'But I married
him--I chose to marry him. I can't get out of that!' And she felt as if
she must cry out to the nurse: "Keep him away; I don't want to see him.
Oh, please, I'm tired." She bit the words back. And presently, with a
very faint smile, said:

"Now, I'm ready."

She noticed first what clothes he had on--his newest suit, dark grey,
with little lighter lines--she had chosen it herself; that his tie was in
a bow, not a sailor's knot, and his hair brighter than usual--as always
just after being cut; and surely the hair was growing down again in front
of his ears. Then, gratefully, almost with emotion, she realized that
his lips were quivering, his whole face quivering. He came in on tiptoe,
stood looking at her a minute, then crossed very swiftly to the bed, very
swiftly knelt down, and, taking her hand, turned it ove