o do that, I'm lost. I shall laugh. I
know I shall!

CAPT. G. (Pulling at his moustache and watching it sideways down his
nose.) Ha--Hamm. (Aside.) 'Wonder what the little beast can talk about.
'Must make a shot at it.

Miss T. (Aside.) Oh, this is agonizing. I must say something.

Both Together. Have you Been--CAPT. G. I beg your pardon. You were
going to say--Miss T. (Who has been watching the moustache with awed
fascination.) Won't you have some eggs?

CAPT. G. (Looking bewilderedly at the tea-table.) Eggs! (Aside.) O
Hades! She must have a nursery-tea at this hour. S'pose they've wiped
her mouth and sent her to me while the Mother is getting on her duds.
(Aloud.) No, thanks.

Miss T. (Crimson with confusion.) Oh! I didn't mean that. I wasn't
thinking of mou--eggs for an instant. I mean salt. Won't you have some
sa--sweets? (Aside.) He'll think me a raving lunatic. I wish Mamma would
come.

CAPT. G. (Aside.) It was a nursery-tea and she's ashamed of it. By Jove!
She doesn't look half bad when she colors up like that. (Aloud, helping
himself from the dish.) Have you seen those new chocolates at Peliti's?

Miss T. No, I made these myself. What are they like?

CAPT. G. These! De-licious. (Aside.) And that's a fact.

Miss T. (Aside.) Oh, bother! he'll think I'm fishing for compliments.
(Aloud.) No, Peliti's of course.

CAPT. G. (Enthusiastically.) Not to compare with these. How d'you make
them? I can't get my khansamah to understand the simplest thing beyond
mutton and fowl.

Miss T. Yes? I'm not a khansamah, you know. Perhaps you frighten him.
You should never frighten a servant. He loses his head. It's very bad
policy.

CAPT. G. He's so awf'ly stupid.

Miss T. (Folding her hands in her Zap.) You should call him quietly and
say: "O khansamah jee!"

CAPT. G. (Getting interested.) Yes? (Aside.) Fancy that little
featherweight saying, "O khansamah jee" to my bloodthirsty Mir Khan!

Miss T Then you should explain the dinner, dish by dish.

CAPT. G. But I can't speak the vernacular.

Miss T. (Patronizingly.) You should pass the Higher Standard and try.

CAPT. G. I have, but I don't seem to be any the wiser. Are you?

Miss T. I never passed the Higher Standard. But the khansamah is very
patient with me. He doesn't get angry when I talk about sheep's topees,
or order maunds of grain when I mean seers.

CAPT. G. (Aside with intense indignation.) I'd like to see Mir Khan
being rude to that girl! Hullo!