have I? I never resisted temptation yet without suffering for it in some
such way as this! If I had only followed my first thoughts, on the day
when I took leave of you, my young lady--well, well, never mind that
now. I have got the future before me; you are not Mrs. Armadale yet! And
I can tell you one other thing--whoever else he marries, he will never
marry _you_. If I am even with you in no other way, trust me, whatever
comes of it, to be even with you there!

"I am not, to my own surprise, in one of my furious passions. The last
time I was in this perfectly cool state, under serious provocation,
something came of it, which I daren't write down, even in my own private
diary. I shouldn't be surprised if something comes of it now.

"On my way back, I called at Mr. Bashwood's lodgings in the town. He was
not at home, and I left a message telling him to come here to-night and
speak to me. I mean to relieve him at once of the duty of looking
after Armadale and Miss Milroy. I may not see my way yet to ruining her
prospects at Thorpe Ambrose as completely as she has ruined mine. But
when the time comes, and I do see it, I don't know to what lengths
my sense of injury may take me; and there may be inconvenience, and
possibly danger, in having such a chicken-hearted creature as Mr.
Bashwood in my confidence.

"I suspect I am more upset by all this than I supposed. Midwinter's
story is beginning to haunt me again, without rhyme or reason.

"A soft, quick, trembling knock at the street door! I know who it is. No
hand but old Bashwood's could knock in that way."

"Nine o'clock.--I have just got rid of him. He has surprised me by
coming out in a new character.

"It seems (though I didn't detect him) that he was at the great house
while I was in company with Armadale. He saw us talking on the drive,
and he afterward heard what the servants said, who saw us too. The wise
opinion below stairs is that we have 'made it up,' and that the master
is likely to marry me after all. 'He's sweet on her red hair,' was the
elegant expression they used in the kitchen. 'Little missie can't match
her there; and little missie will get the worst of it.' How I hate the
coarse ways of the lower orders!

"While old Bashwood was telling me this, I thought he looked even more
confused and nervous than usual. But I failed to see what was really
the matter until after I had told him that he was to leave all further
observation of Mr. Armadale a