ringes to me. I can see, as plainly as if she had acknowledged it,
that she suspects me of seeing my own way to success at Thorpe Ambrose
without her assistance. Having found threatening me useless, she tries
coaxing me now. I am her darling Lydia again! She is quite shocked that
I could imagine she ever really intended to arrest her bosom friend; and
she has only to entreat me, as a favor to herself, to renew the bill!

"I say once more, no mortal creature could resist it! Time after time
I have tried to escape the temptation; and time after time the
circumstances drive me back again. I can struggle no longer. The post
that takes the letters to-night shall take my letter to Midwinter among
the rest.

"To-night! If I give myself till to-night, something else may happen.
If I give myself till to-night, I may hesitate again. I'm weary of the
torture of hesitating. I must and will have relief in the present, cost
what it may in the future. My letter to Midwinter will drive me mad if I
see it staring and staring at me in my desk any longer. I can post it in
ten minutes' time--and I will!

"It is done. The first of the three steps that lead me to the end is a
step taken. My mind is quieter--the letter is in the post.

"By to-morrow Midwinter will receive it. Before the end of the week
Armadale must be publicly seen to leave Thorpe Ambrose; and I must be
publicly seen to leave with him.

"Have I looked at the consequences of my marriage to Midwinter? No! Do
I know how to meet the obstacle of my husband, when the time comes which
transforms me from the living Armadale's wife to the dead Armadale's
widow?

"No! When the time comes, I must meet the obstacle as I best may. I
am going blindfold, then--so far as Midwinter is concerned--into this
frightful risk? Yes; blindfold. Am I out of my senses? Very likely. Or
am I a little too fond of him to look the thing in the face? I dare say.
Who cares?

"I won't, I won't, I won't think of it! Haven't I a will of my own? And
can't I think, if I like, of something else?

"Here is Mother Jezebel's cringing letter. _That_ is something else to
think of. I'll answer it. I am in a fine humor for writing to Mother
Jezebel."

* * * * *

_Conclusion of Miss Gwilt's Letter to Mrs. Oldershaw_.

"...I told you, when I broke off, that I would wait before I finished
this, and ask my Diary if I could safely tell you what I have now got
it in my mind to do. Well, I have asked; and my Diary