to my house, all the brewer's stock of liquids,
both good and bad.' 'But,' said I, 'you were the other day boasting of
the respectability of your house; do you think that a fight between a man
and a woman close to your establishment would add to its respectability?'
'Confound the respectability of my house,' said the landlord; 'will the
respectability of my house pay the brewer, or keep the roof over my head?
No, no! when respectability won't keep a man, do you see, the best thing
is to let it go and wander. Only let me have my own way, and both the
brewer, myself, and every one of us, will be satisfied. And then the
betting--what a deal we may make by the betting--and that we shall have
all to ourselves, you, I, and the young woman; the brewer will have no
hand in that. I can manage to raise ten pounds, and if by flashing that
about I don't manage to make a hundred, call me horse.' 'But suppose,'
said I, 'the party should lose, on whom you sport your money, even as the
birds did?' 'We must first make all right,' said the landlord, 'as I
told you before; the birds were irrational beings, and therefore couldn't
come to an understanding with the others, as you and the young woman can.
The birds fought fair; but I intend that you and the young woman should
fight cross.' 'What do you mean by cross?' said I. 'Come, come,' said
the landlord, 'don't attempt to gammon me; you in the ring, and pretend
not to know what fighting cross is! That won't do, my fine fellow; but
as no one is near us, I will speak out. I intend that you and the young
woman should understand one another, and agree beforehand which should be
beat; and if you take my advice, you will determine between you that the
young woman shall be beat, as I am sure that the odds will run high upon
her, her character as a fist-woman being spread far and wide, so that all
the flats who think it will be all right will back her, as I myself
would, if I thought it would be a fair thing.' 'Then,' said I, 'you
would not have us fight fair?' 'By no means,' said the landlord,
'because why?--I conceives that a cross is a certainty to those who are
in it, whereas by the fair thing one may lose all he has.' 'But,' said
I, 'you said the other day that you liked the fair thing.' 'That was by
way of gammon,' said the landlord; 'just, do you see, as a Parliament
cove might say, speechifying from a barrel to a set of flats, whom he
means to sell. Come, what do you think of