ck those birds, I was
never quite fool enough to lend anybody money. What I am about to
propose is something very different from going to my landlord, or lending
any capital; something which, though it will put money into my pocket,
will likewise put something handsome into your own. I want to get up a
fight in this here neighbourhood, which would be sure to bring plenty of
people to my house, for a week before and after it takes place; and as
people can't come without drinking, I think I could, during one
fortnight, get off for the brewer all the sour and unsaleable liquids he
now has, which people wouldn't drink at any other time, and by that
means, do you see, liquidate my debt; then, by means of betting, making
first all right, do you see, I have no doubt that I could put something
handsome into my pocket and yours, for I should wish you to be the
fighting man, as I think I can depend upon you.' 'You really must excuse
me,' said I; 'I have no wish to figure as a pugilist; besides, there is
such a difference in our ages; you may be the stronger man of the two,
and perhaps the hardest hitter, but I am in much better condition, am
more active on my legs, so that I am almost sure I should have the
advantage, for, as you very properly observed, "Youth will be served."'
'Oh, I didn't mean to fight,' said the landlord; 'I think I could beat
you if I were to train a little; but in the fight I propose I looks more
to the main chance than anything else. I question whether half so many
people could be brought together if you were to fight with me as the
person I have in view, or whether there would be half such opportunities
for betting, for I am a man, do you see; the person I wants you to fight
with is not a man, but the young woman you keeps company with.'

'The young woman I keep company with,' said I; 'pray what do you mean?'

'We will go into the bar, and have something,' said the landlord, getting
up. 'My niece is out, and there is no one in the house, so we can talk
the matter over quietly.' Thereupon I followed him into the bar, where,
having drawn me a jug of ale, helped himself as usual to a glass of
sherry, and lighted a cigar, he proceeded to explain himself further.
'What I wants is to get up a fight between a man and a woman; there never
has yet been such a thing in the ring, and the mere noise of the matter
would bring thousands of people together, quite enough to drink out, for
the thing should be close