e blarsted cuff-buttons in my
cuffs,"--here he took off his coat and displayed to full view the
famous heirlooms, which gleamed like a pair of locomotive
headlights,--"we'll wait till to-morrow before tearing up the
foundations of the castle looking for the others!"

So they played on, at pool and billiards, for the rest of that Monday
afternoon, Hemlock Holmes and the six gilded loafers, while I sat idly
in a chair at one side, smoking several good cigars, my job being that
of an innocent looker-on, trying to figure out who was the biggest
fool in the place,--the easy-going Earl of Puddingham, for shoveling
out good money to my grafting partner, or Holmes himself, for
frittering away his brilliant talents in such piffle pastimes.

At six o'clock we were served a delectable dinner in the great
oak-paneled dining-room of the castle, prepared by the Earl's French
chef, Louis La Violette; and we passed the evening in the library,
sipping away several more bottles of the Earl's best vintages and
listening to the more or less improbable tales of their adventures in
the three faraway realms of the world by Messrs. Tooter, Hicks, and
Budd, while Holmes managed to pump Harrigan on the Q. T., and found
out from him that the Earl was rated at two million pounds, in the
form of several thousand acres of valuable land up in Yorkshire,
including one or two good-sized towns.

At half-past ten Holmes and I retired for the night, having been
assigned to one of the spacious guest-rooms on the third floor; and
soon we were wrapped in slumber.

CHAPTER III

_Thud--thud--thud! Biff! Rattle! Bang!_ came a noise from below.

I sat bolt upright in bed, and hollered through the pitch-darkness at
the top of my voice:

"Help! Police! Burglars! Robbers! Wake up, Holmes, and catch 'em!"

Despite the racket I made, which was increased by my jumping out of
bed and falling head-first over a chair, upsetting the latter, the
hardened old cuss slept on. When I yelled again, and shook him by the
shoulder, he half opened his eyes and said:

"Well, what's eating you, Watson? Got the nightmare? I told you that
you took too much mince-pie last night!"

"For Heaven's sake, didn't you hear the noise downstairs, Holmes?" I
shouted. "Somebody is breaking in, trying to steal the Earl's last
pair of diamond cuff-buttons!"

Holmes yawned lazily, rolled over in bed, and said, as he settled
himself to sleep again:

"Well, I can't help it, Wats