with the serious, exceptional trials of life. But although
Lord Byron declared that "man's love was of man's life a thing
apart," his own poems and his own career gave the lie absolutely to
the statement (indeed, I am often tempted to believe that women
exhibit, on the whole, greater strength of will in their affections
than men). I must say, therefore, that the spectacle of a bride and
bridegroom, devoted to each other, yet separated on their very
wedding day, is quite as serious and sorrowful as (say) the death
of a parent, or the loss of a child, or any other melancholy
occurrence of everyday life. And what is worse, an atmosphere of
_scandal_ penetrates this story--making it most shocking to all
refined minds, and peculiarly so to temperaments of extraordinary
delicacy. It will take every atom of _my_ courage and constant
prayers to bear it _for_ them. What must it be, therefore, to
themselves? I tremble at the appalling things in future for us. As
for my uncle, I dare not read his letter yet. He must be so upset,
so _horrified_. I have never before been called on for such a proof
of friendship. It is quite dreadful to be mixed up in a kind of
_cause celebre_. The great justice of God is always mixed with
great hardships, and is often executed by those worthy neither of
confidence nor respect. I am sure that we shall all have to go
through many humiliations before this matter is settled. I know,
darling, that _you_ will say I am making a rather narrow-minded
fuss. But I do hate publicity, and if it doesn't kill Robert
outright, it will have some shattering effect upon his character
and his health. Really, I am not thinking so much of myself. Your
own _reckless_ bravery, however, would quail a little, I fancy, at
the idea of having your most intimate feelings called out from the
housetops and discussed in the streets. And remember, please, that
Robert is a dreamer--a poet. Of course, in every _active_
expedition there must be some few idealistic, Quixotic souls who
have to suffer vicariously for the rest. He is such an one. But
that sort of feeling of soreness which comes from the sense of
martyrdom is not quite the same as a raw wound on one's own
_personal_ score. I do hope I am clear. I try to look on the bright
side, but there are days when th