ping round him? By
whose vacant pillow has his broken heart sought vain relief in tears?

She passed downstairs, gliding noiselessly over the thick carpets, and
went into the room it had been his pleasure to furnish and decorate as his
wife's boudoir. Its seashell pinkness was merged in darkness, faintly
striped by the grey dawn-glimmer, but the door of the bedroom that opened
from it was ajar. Light edged the heavy fold of the portiere curtain and
made a pool upon the carpet. She held her breath as she stole to the door,
and, trembling, looked in. He was there, kneeling by the bed. His
heavily-shouldered black figure made a blotch upon the dainty white and
azure draperies; his arms were outflung upon the silken counterpane.

A rush of thanks sprang from her full heart to Heaven as she heard the
heavy sighing breaths that proved him living yet.

She would have gone to him and touched him then, but the sound of his
voice took courage from her, and drew her strength away. He spoke, lifting
his face to the ivory Crucifix that hung upon the wall above the bed-head.
It was a voice of groanings rather than the quiet voice with which she was
familiar. She comprehended that a soul in mortal anguish was speaking
aloud to God.

"I cannot live!" groaned Saxham. "I am weary, body and spirit. What I have
borne I have borne in the hope of laying my burden down. Everything is
ready! I have cleared the way; my loins are girded for departure. All I
asked was to lie down in the earth and wake again no more. All I
asked--and what happens? My dead faith quickens again in me. I must bow my
neck once more to the yoke of the Inconceivable! I must perforce believe
in Thee again! I hear the voice of the pale thorn-crowned Victim, saying,
'I am Thy God who lived and suffered and died for thee! Live on, then, and
suffer also, and pass to the Life Eternal when thine hour comes!' O
God!--my God! have I not earned deliverance? Have I not borne anguish
enough?"

His fierce, upbraiding voice died out in inarticulate mutterings. His head
fell forwards upon his arms. Presently he lifted it, and cried out, as if
replying to some unseen speaker:

"If a self-sought death entails eternal torment, am I not in hell here
upon earth? How else, when to live is to hold her in bondage, knowing that
she longs and pines to be free? And yet, to go out into the dark and leave
her! never again to see her! never more to feel the light of her eyes flow
into me! Nev