you do; but you may understand what my feelings were.
What would you have thought of me if I'd stayed there, smoking, and
borne it quiet,--and you going about with that young man? I'll tell
you what it is, Polly, I couldn't bear it, and I won't. There;--and
now you know what I mean." At this point in his speech he took off
his hat and waved it in the air. "I won't bear it. There are things
a man can't bear,--can't bear,--can't bear. Oh, Polly! if you could
only be brought to understand what it is that I feel!"
After all, he didn't do it so very badly. There was just a tear in
the corner of Polly's eye, though Polly was very careful that he
shouldn't see it. And Polly did know well enough that he was in
earnest,--that he was, in fact, true. But then he was gawky and
ungainly. It was not that he was a shoemaker. Could he have had his
own wits, and danced like the gasfitter, he might have won her still,
against Ralph Newton, with all his blood and white hands. But poor
Ontario was, as regarded externals, so ill a subject for a great
passion!
"And where have you been, Polly?" said her father, as soon as she
entered the house.
"I have been walking with Ontario Moggs," said Polly boldly.
"What have you been saying to him? I won't have you walk with Ontario
Moggs. I and your mother 'll have to fall out if this kind of thing
goes on."
"Don't be silly, father."
"What do you mean by that, miss?"
"It is silly. Why shouldn't I walk with him? Haven't I known him all
my life, and walked with him scores of times? Isn't it silly, father?
Don't I know that if I told you I loved Ontario Moggs, you'd let me
marry him to-morrow?"
"He'd have to take you in what you stand up in."
"He wouldn't desire anything better. I'll say that for him. He's true
and honest. I'd love him if I could,--only, somehow I don't."
"You've told him you didn't,--once and for all?"
"I don't know about that, father. He'll come again, you may be
sure. He's one of that sort that isn't easily said nay to. If you
mean,--have I said yes?--I haven't. I'll never say yes to any man
unless I love him. When I do say it I shall mean it,--whether it's
Onty Moggs or anybody else. I'm not going to be given away, you know,
like a birthday present, out of a shop. There's nobody can give me
away, father,--only myself." To all which utterances of a rebellious
spirit the breeches-maker made no answer. He knew that Polly would,
at least, be true to him; and, as
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