was ever thinking of
John Gordon. He knew that she would be too steadfast for all that,
and that even though there might be some sorrow at her heart, it
would be well kept down, out of his sight, out of the sight of the
world at large, and would gradually sink out of her own sight too.
But if it be given to a man "to maunder away his mind in softnesses,"
he cannot live otherwise than as nature has made him. Such a man must
maunder. Mrs Baggett had understood accurately the nature of his
character; but had not understood that, as was his character, so must
he act. He could not alter his own self. He could not turn round upon
himself, and bid himself be other than he was. It is necessary to be
stern and cruel and determined, a man shall say to himself. In this
particular emergency of my life I will be stern and cruel. General
good will come out of such a line of conduct. But unless he be stern
and cruel in other matters also,--unless he has been born stern and
cruel, or has so trained himself,--he cannot be stern and cruel for
that occasion only. All this Mr Whittlestaff knew of himself. As
sure as he was there thinking over John Gordon and Mary Lawrie, would
he maunder away his mind in softnesses. He feared it of himself, was
sure of it of himself, and hated himself because it was so.

He did acknowledge to himself the truth of the position as asserted
by John Gordon. Had the man come but a day earlier, he would have
been in time to say the first word; and then, as Mr Whittlestaff
said to himself, there would not for him have been a chance. And in
such case there would have been no reason, as far as Mr Whittlestaff
could see, why John Gordon should be treated other than as a happy
lover. It was the one day in advance which had given him the strength
of his position. But it was the one day also which had made him
weak. He had thought much about Mary for some time past. He had told
himself that by her means might be procured some cure to the wound
in his heart which had made his life miserable for so many years.
But had John Gordon come in time, the past misery would only have
been prolonged, and none would have been the wiser. Even Mrs Baggett
would have held her peace, and not thrown it in his teeth that he had
attempted to marry the girl and had failed. As it was, all the world
of Alresford would know how it had been with him, and all the world
of Alresford as they looked at him would tell themselves that this
was the