g
the week I spent in Toronto, trying to track down Linda and Fede's plot.

I have two cousins. They're my father's sister's kids, and I didn't even meet
them until I was about twenty and tracking down my family history. They're
Ottawa Valley kids, raised on government-town pork, aging hippie muesli, and
country-style corn pone. It's a weird mix, and we've never had a conversation
that I would consider a success. Ever met a violent, aggressive hippie with an
intimate knowledge of whose genitals one must masticate in order to get a
building permit or to make a pot bust vanish? It ain't pretty.

Cousin the first is Audie. She's a year older than me, and she's the smart one
on that side of the family, the one who ended up at Queen's University for a BS
in Electrical Engineering and an MA in Poli Sci, and even so finished up back in
Ottawa, freelancing advice to clueless MPs dealing with Taiwanese and Sierra
Leonese OEM importers. Audie's married to a nice fella whose name I can never
remember and they're gonna have kids in five years; it's on a timetable that she
actually showed me once when I went out there on biz and stopped in to see her
at the office.

Cousin the second is Alphie -- three years younger than me, raised in the shadow
of his overachieving sister, he was the capo of Ottawa Valley script kiddies, a
low-rent hacker who downloaded other people's code for defeating copyright
use-control systems and made a little biz for himself bootlegging games, porn,
music and video, until the WIPO bots found him through traffic analysis and
busted his ass, bankrupting him and landing him in the clink for sixty days.

Audie and Alfie are blond and ruddy and a little heavyset, all characteristics
they got from their father's side, so add that to the fact that I grew up
without being aware of their existence and you'll understand the absence of any
real fellow-feeling for them. I don't dislike them, but I have so little in
common with them that it's like hanging out with time travelers from the
least-interesting historical era imaginable.

But they came to Boston and looked me up in the nuthatch.

They found me sitting on the sofa in the ward, post-Group, arms and ankles
crossed, dozing in a shaft of sunlight. It was my habitual napping spot, and I
found that a nap between Group and dinner was a good way to sharpen my appetite
and anasthetize my taste buds, which made the mealtime slop bearable.

Audie shook my shoulder ge