"29th.--I have always believed in special providences; and I am now
confirmed in my belief. This morning has brought with it a note from
our good friend and neighbor at Belhelvie. Sir James is one of the
commissioners for the Northern Lights. He is going in a Government
vessel to inspect the lighthouses on the North of Scotland, and on the
Orkney and Shetland Islands--and, having noticed how worn and ill my
poor boy looks, he most kindly invites George to be his guest on the
voyage. They will not be absent for more than two months; and the
sea (as Sir James reminds me) did wonders for George's health when he
returned from India. I could wish for no better opportunity than this of
trying what change of air and scene will do for him. However painfully I
may feel the separation myself, I shall put a cheerful face on it; and I
shall urge George to accept the invitation.

"30th.--I have said all I could; but he still refuses to leave me. I am
a miserable, selfish creature. I felt so glad when he said No.

"31st.--Another wakeful night. George must positively send his answer to
Sir James to-day. I am determined to do my duty toward my son--he looks
so dreadfully pale and ill this morning! Besides, if something is not
done to rouse him, how do I know that he may not end in going back to
Mrs. Van Brandt after all? From every point of view, I feel bound to
insist on his accepting Sir James's invitation. I have only to be firm,
and the thing is done. He has never yet disobeyed me, poor fellow. He
will not disobey me now.

"2d September.--He has gone! Entirely to please me--entirely against his
own wishes. Oh, how is it that such a good son cannot get a good wife!
He would make any woman happy. I wonder whether I have done right in
sending him away? The wind is moaning in the fir plantation at the back
of the house. Is there a storm at sea? I forgot to ask Sir James how big
the vessel was. The 'Guide to Scotland' says the coast is rugged; and
there is a wild sea between the north shore and the Orkney Islands. I
almost regret having insisted so strongly--how foolish I am! We are all
in the hands of God. May God bless and prosper my good son!

"10th.--Very uneasy. No letter from George. Ah, how full of trouble this
life is! and how strange that we should cling to it as we do!

"15th.--A letter from George! They have done with the north coast and
they have crossed the wild sea to the Orkneys. Wonderful weather has
favored them