w not, as he did not hear
the rest of the conversation.
"At this evidence, the cadi and mollahs who sat with him, turned up
their eyes with horror, and proceeded to discuss the degree of
punishment which so enormous a crime deserved, quite forgetting to ask
me if I had anything to offer in my defence. At last they settled that,
as a commencement, I should receive five hundred bastinadoes on the
soles of my feet, and if I lived, about as many more on my belly. The
cadi was about to pronounce his irrevocable _fetva_, when I took the
liberty of interrupting this rapid course of justice. 'O cadi,' said I,
'and ye, mollahs, whose beards drop wisdom, let your slave offer, at the
footstool of justice, the precious proofs of innocence.' 'Produce them
quickly, then, thou wedded to Shitan and Jehanum,' replied the cadi.
Whereupon I loosened the string which attached the mouth, and allowed
all the water to run out of the skin. I then turned the skin inside out,
and showing to them the horns of the young ox, which fortunately I had
not cut off, I demanded of the cadi and of the mollahs if any of them
had ever seen a pig with horns. At this they every one fell a laughing,
as if I had uttered a cream of a joke. My innocence was declared, and my
two accusers had the five hundred bastinadoes shared between them. The
water-carriers were too much alarmed at the result of this attempt, to
attack me any more, and the true believers, from the notoriety of the
charge, and my acquittal of having rendered them unclean, from the use
of swinish skin, all sought my custom. In short, I have only to fill my
skin, to empty it again, and I daily realise so handsome an income, that
I have thrown care to the dogs, and spend in jollity every night what I
have worked hard for every day. As soon as the muezzin calls to evening
prayers, I lay aside my skin, betake myself to the mosque, perform my
ablutions, and return thanks to Allah. After which I repair to the
bazaar, purchase meat with one dirhem, rakee with another, others go for
fruit and flowers, cakes, sweetmeats, bread, oil for my lamps, and the
remainder I spend in wine. As soon as all is collected, I arrive at my
own house, put everything in order, light up my lamps and enjoy myself
after my own fashion. So now you know all I choose to tell you, and
whether you are merchants or spies in disguise, I care not. Be satisfied
and depart, for the dawn is here."
The caliph, who had been much amused w
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