ed of the
enmity which would follow me through every retreat, was such as to
bereave me of all consistent thinking, much more of the power of coming
to any resolution. As soon as this giddiness and horror of the mind
subsided, and the deadly calm that invaded my faculties was no more, one
stiff and master gale gained the ascendancy, and drove me to an instant
desertion of this late cherished retreat. I had no patience to enter
into further remonstrance and explanation with the inhabitants of my
present residence. I believed that it was in vain to hope to recover the
favourable prepossession and tranquillity I had lately enjoyed. In
encountering the prejudices that were thus armed against me, I should
have to deal with a variety of dispositions, and, though I might succeed
with some, I could not expect to succeed with all. I had seen too much
of the reign of triumphant falsehood, to have that sanguine confidence
in the effects of my innocence, which would have suggested itself to the
mind of any other person of my propensities and my age. The recent
instance which had occurred in my conversation with Laura might well
contribute to discourage me. I could not endure the thought of opposing
the venom that was thus scattered against me, in detail and through its
minuter particles. If ever it should be necessary to encounter it, if I
were pursued like a wild beast, till I could no longer avoid turning
upon my hunters, I would then turn upon the true author of this
unprincipled attack; I would encounter the calumny in its strong hold; I
would rouse myself to an exertion hitherto unessayed; and, by the
firmness, intrepidity, and unalterable constancy I should display, would
yet compel mankind to believe Mr. Falkland a suborner and a murderer!

CHAPTER XIV.

I hasten to the conclusion of my melancholy story. I began to write soon
after the period to which I have now conducted it. This was another
resource that my mind, ever eager in inventing means to escape from my
misery, suggested. In my haste to withdraw myself from the retreat in
Wales, where first the certainty of Mr. Falkland's menaces was confirmed
to me, I left behind me the apparatus of my etymological enquiries, and
the papers I had written upon the subject. I have never been able to
persuade myself to resume this pursuit. It is always discouraging, to
begin over again a laborious task, and exert one's self to recover a
position we had already occupied. I kne