rs, withal, that indulgence of which
he himself stood in need. "He was asked what he would say if his wife
(whom he had not seen for ten years) should write to him that she had
just discovered that she was enceinte. He reflected a moment and then
replied, 'I would write, and tell her that I was delighted that heaven
had blessed our union; be careful of your health; I will call and pay my
respects this evening.'" There are countless replies of the same sort,
and I venture to say that, without having read them, one could not
imagine to what a degree social art had overcome natural instincts.

"Here at Paris," writes Mme. d'Oberkirk, "I am no longer my own
mistress. I scarcely have time to talk with my husband and to answer my
letters. I do not know what women do that are accustomed to lead this
life; they certainly have no families to look after, nor children
to educate." At all events they act as if they had none, and the men
likewise. Married people not living together live but rarely with their
children, and the causes that disintegrate wedlock also disintegrate the
family. In the first place there is the aristocratic tradition, which
interposes a barrier between parents and children with a view to
maintain a respectful distance. Although enfeebled and about to
disappear,[2234] this tradition still subsists. The son says "Monsieur"
to his father; the daughter comes "respectfully" to kiss her mother's
hand at her toilet. A caress is rare and seems a favor; children
generally, when with their parents, are silent, the sentiment that
usually animates them being that of deferential timidity. At one time
they were regarded as so many subjects, and up to a certain point they
are so still; while the new exigencies of worldly life place them or
keep them effectually aside. M. de Talleyrand stated that he had never
slept under the same roof with his father and mother. And if they do
sleep there, they are not the less neglected. "I was entrusted," says
the Count de Tilly, "to valets; and to a kind of preceptor resembling
these in more respects than one." During this time his father ran after
women. "I have known him," adds the young man, "to have mistresses up
to an advanced age; he was always adoring them and constantly abandoning
them." The Duc de Lauzun finds it difficult to obtain a good tutor for
his son; for this reason the latter writes, "he conferred the duty on
one of my late mother's lackeys who could read and write tole