had left on the mantelpiece, at once pleased and vexed that
I could not withdraw my mind from the money. It is true, further
speculation was useless. My doubts had been cleared up and there was
something fine in the way my pride was spared.
Philippe has spent the morning rushing about among the various shops and
workpeople who are to undertake the task of my metamorphosis. A
famous dressmaker, by name Victorine, has come, as well as a woman for
underclothing, and a shoemaker. I am as impatient as a child to know
what I shall be like when I emerge from the sack which constituted the
conventual uniform; but all these tradespeople take a long time; the
corset-maker requires a whole week if my figure is not to be spoilt. You
see, I have a figure, dear; this becomes serious. Janssen, the Operatic
shoemaker, solemnly assures me that I have my mother's foot. The whole
morning has gone in these weighty occupations. Even a glovemaker has
come to take the measure of my hand. The underclothing woman has got my
orders.
At the meal which I call dinner, and the others lunch, my mother told me
that we were going together to the milliner's to see some hats, so that
my taste should be formed, and I might be in a position to order my own.
This burst of independence dazzles me. I am like a blind man who has
just recovered his sight. Now I begin to understand the vast interval
which separates a Carmelite sister from a girl in society. Of ourselves
we could never have conceived it.
During this lunch my father seemed absent-minded, and we left him to his
thoughts; he is deep in the King's confidence. I was entirely forgotten;
but, from what I have seen, I have no doubt he will remember me when he
has need of me. He is a very attractive man in spite of his fifty years.
His figure is youthful; he is well made, fair, and extremely graceful
in his movements. He has a diplomatic face, at once dumb and expressive;
his nose is long and slender, and he has brown eyes.
What a handsome pair! Strange thoughts assail me as it becomes plain
to me that these two, so perfectly matched in birth, wealth, and mental
superiority, live entirely apart, and have nothing in common but their
name. The show of unity is only for the world.
The cream of the Court and diplomatic circles were here last night. Very
soon I am going to a ball given by the Duchesse de Maufrigneuse, and
I shall be presented to the society I am so eager to know. A
dancing-master
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