the office I was held in little favor or esteem.
I was indeed, in many respects, less capable than many of my colleagues,
and it is not impossible that my apparent pride may have contrasted with
my real deficiency. All these causes pressed upon me together, and made
up a series of annoyances which came very little short of downright
unhappiness.

My circumstances, too, were not calculated to dispel these gloomy
tendencies. Beyond our maintenance, which was of the very humblest kind,
our whole pay was five hundred francs yearly; and as this was paid in
paper money, it reduced the actual amount more than one-fourth. By the
very strictest economy, and by many an act of self-denial, I was
enabled to keep myself out of debt; but it was an existence of continued
watchfulness and care, and in which not even the very cheapest pleasure
found a place. My colleagues, indeed, talked of cafes, restaurants,
excursions, and theatres, as of matters of daily habit; but in what way
they compassed such enjoyments I knew not. The very freedom of their
language on these themes cast an air of contemptuous mockery over my
humbler existence that assuredly did not diminish its bitterness.

My inexpertness frequently compelled me to remain in the office long
after the rest. The task allotted to me was often of greater length, and
many times have I passed a considerable part of the night at my desk. On
these occasions, when I had finished, my head was too much excited for
sleep, and I then sat up and read--usually one of the volumes Raper had
given me--till morning. These were my happiest hours; but even they
were alloyed by the weariness of an exhausted and tired intellect. So
thoroughly apart from the world did I live, so completely did I hug my
solitary existence at this period, that of the events happening around
I positively knew nothing. With cafes and their company, or with
newspapers, I had no intercourse; and although at moments some street
encounter, some collision between the mob and the National Guard, would
excite my curiosity, I never felt interest enough to inquire the cause,
or care for the consequences.

Such incidents grew day by day more common; firing was frequently
heard at night in different parts of the capital, and it was no rare
occurrence to see carts with wounded men conveyed to hospital through
the streets, at early morning. That the inhabitants were fully alive to
the vicinity of some peril was plain to see. At the